Fun With Facebook Friends

Posted on November 18, 2010 by ThePeachy1 in FaceBook Fun

Yep it’s that time of the week where I pull a random post straight off my facebook account and share it with you. Remember if your facebook doesn’t look like my facebook you need way cooler friends feel free to join us.

Yesterday was a whirlwind of romance for me, and it was markedly void of my beloved man the Droid.

I woke up WAY too early and found out I had a sudo love interest macking hard to get my attention.

I responded to him like he was my husband and shot his butt down like I was a PGM ( that’s fancy talk for smart bomb).

It happened very publicly. It is as follows :

Fred hits on me and I hit back on facebook

I lost the first few comments, I had to delete the original post.

Yep so I was all, KAPOW, I smacked Fred down like he was a bug on the windshield of an 18 wheeler. I know normally not cool. But Fact 1- hard to believe but I am indeed happily married, Fact 2- Fred was not my friend on FB, Fact 3- Fred had 7 friends in common and they were all chicks. Fact 4- It was super early in the morning and I am a bit grouchy.

I love my friends !

So Holly at MidWesternMamaH she knows we all think she’s hot, so she doesn’t need to be sweet, hot is so much better than sweet, unless your cheesecake. Also Sam did call me, and Billy is not a blogger but is so hilariously off color on the net and IRL.

bad spam ideas to public figures on facebook, when bloggers out you

and End Scene

How can I NOT love these people, really they embrace me. Oh but don’t think it comes without penalty. Unfortunately when I returned home I had gotten a break up email from Chilli’s. In the interest of honesty in journalism ( isn’t that an oxy moron?) I did indeed post the non facebook break up email Chilli’s sent me. If you are my friend on facebook you probably saw it. If you’re not my friend on facebook, what’s your problem? Are you picking Fred’s side? OMG, I can’t believe you? Sniff.

xoxo

PEACH OUT

WTG- Jokes from my Daddy

Posted on November 17, 2010 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy, The Peachy Tree

As you know Wednesday is my ” free day ” and I usually throw a funny email or joke from my Dad in here. Why? Because he is hilarious and also because he sends me ( and 10,000 other people ) about 30 jokes a day.

Yesterday I saw someone post on FB that their 76 year old Dad just got a Droid X and was now sending out Text messages.

I told them “my dad is a technology buff, he has multiple cell phones, a pc, a laptop and a gps. problem is he asks if he can get facebook on his gps, why his phone isn’t giving him directions and if the laptop will take a call for him..”

I love my Daddy. So here is a joke from him.

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I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right
in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on the shoulder.
He hung out his window and flipped the woman off.

“Man, that guy is stupid” I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and
wave whenever a female does anything stupid to me in traffic;
and here’s why…

I drive 38 miles each way to work. That’s 76 miles, of which 16 is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. So, if you just look at the
7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane.
That’s 7 cars every 40 feet for just the 32 miles that traffic is bumper to bumper.

That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars, plus the rest of my 34 mile
commute which is not bumper-to-bumper, where I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.

Statistically half of these are driven by females, that’s 18,000. In any given group of
females, 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. . . . That is 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding,
that’s 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously
considered suicide or homicide, that’s 98. And, 34% describe men as their biggest problem,
that’s 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and
the number is increasing.

That means, that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy
love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide,
is having the worst day of her period, and is armed.

No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn’t DREAM of flipping her off.

image credits go to

http://turonistan.blogspot.com

So as you just learned be careful who you flip off. Now go out and have a great day.

XO

PEACH OUT

Tell it Tuesday-Nice Vegetarians

Posted on November 16, 2010 by ThePeachy1 in Peachy Advice

Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness” NOT MAKING THIS UP. Google it. (now I rank for “robin willimas man junk” I am so proud.) Yes you can sit at my table during lunch, because I love you.

So if you send in your question, which you’re totally welcome to do, to beingpeachy@gmail.com, PULEEZE for the love of baby cheeses know that your advice is coming from someone who is known for “epic asshattedness

** Special Shout out to Rachel for the Guest Post last week on the advice***

You can see her blog by clicking here, she’s running a contest so go ahead.

So here we go, please keep your arms and legs in the vehicle at all times and do not attempt to get up until the vehicle comes to a complete stop and the safety bar has lifted. Thank you and enjoy the ride.

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Dear Peachy- I started dating this really sweet guy. Problem is he’s too sweet. Seriously it makes me consider an insulin pump may be needed to enter a relationship with him. He wont send food back, he apologizes to everyone even when it’s not his own fault. I feel like a real meanie when I am with him because he’s just too nice. Should I give it a shot ( of insulin) or just break it off now before anyone gets hurt.

Dating a Doormat

Dear Dating a Doormat- so what you are telling me is that you met a super nice guy that really likes you and you since you couldn’t find anything else to bitch about you picked the fact he was nice? Sorry but really? I mean I know back when we were cave dwelling nomads it was a good thing to be with the macho jerk who would fall a Mastadon but I would like to think we have evolved. He may be acting “extra” nice as you are in the dating stage and he is trying not to be an asshat. However I am betting you have a long line of ex’s in your closet that were utter jerks. The point is he isn’t so yeah dump him now, before you have the chance to ruin one of the few nice guys out there. xo ThePeachy1

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Dear The Peachy1;

I am recently divorced. When my little girl was just 5 months old I found out my husband of 7 years had a 2 year old and the mother of that child was 8 months pregnant by him again. Needless to say my world shattered and it was something I haven’t gotten over. I divorced, went to therapy, dusted off my degree, buffed up my resume and rejoined the work force into the label of a single mom in a life you could have never told me would be mine. He moved in with his “other” family and my daughters 1st birthday is coming up. I can’t bare to see him because he is so happy, he has little to do with our daughter unless I make him. I have no clue how to handle it when one day my daughter asks how come Daddy has another family and she has older and younger brothers that he lives with. I re-entered the work force at a much lower paygrade and can not afford her all the wonderful things she would have had with a Mom AND a Dad. How can I do this?

thanks for listening,

Lost and Broken

Dear Lost and Broken- I am not a therapist, I am not licensed anywhere and have no formal training other than 4+ decades of life to pull from. Most of my answers are funny, this one is probably not, in addition I have sent you a private email. You said you have seen a therapist, it sounds like you might still have some things to talk about in a professional setting. Now here’s my take honey. You did not ask for this, as you pointed out that affair had to be going on for 3+ years of your 7 year marriage. When you broke up he went to her. You have a daughter together so you can’t just erase him or the pain he brought to your life. That sucks, there is no way around it sucking you have the right to think it sucks and he’s a piece of shit for leading another life you get to do that. For a time. But you said your daughter is just about to be 1 year old. She has no opinion on the situation and I want you to be able to filter yourself and your feelings as she grows. Before long she will read your emotions if she isn’t already. You have to get past the hurt victim status which is super hard I get it, but you can’t project that onto her. Let her form her own relationship with your Ex and his “other family” this does not lessen you or what happened and at some point she will indeed ask, and you will indeed need to answer in a fashion that does not make her unworthy and is age appropriate. The simple fact is, you are worthy, she is worthy, the unworthy one was him. He lost in this thing. The money issue- yeah it’s pretty common that when a woman returns to the workforce after a while off to be a wife and raise a child the $ isn’t the same, also the economy kind of sucks right now. I can tell you this. When my oldest 2 were little, I worked 2 jobs and went back to school and my house burned to the ground. I was so broke it was pathetic. Once every 2 weeks we would go to the local Denny’s and order a $1.99 breakfast slam with 3 waters and split it 3 ways. At one point we lived in a camper where our house had burned and slept in 1 bed and I had to microwave water to give them a bath. Funny thing is they are 21 and 19 and they both say that was a highlight in their lives. They didn’t care about the big house or the fancy things because we were always together, even if it was a foot in the eye or shivering in the bucket we used for a tub. 7 years later their lives become very comfortable financially and although it was awesome to give them everything they could have dreamed of we would still refer to the fun of our camping days. I am not saying this to lessen the situation you are going through, clearly your heart is still broken right now. I am telling you this because they were around 5 and 3. Things changed and then went in directions I could have never imagined. I promise to you that at her age and for the next maybe 8 or so years finance will NOT be a factor in her life unless you make it that. I hope said ding bat is paying Child support, if not run to Child Support Enforcement or your lawyer and drag his butt through court until he gets the point. Hang in there and now, you and your daughter will be ok, if that’s the path you choose. XOXOXO ThePeachy1

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Hi Peach,

I have recently become a vegetarian after finding out the health benefits to myself and the nature of a meat eating life cycle. My question is, I read my dogs food ingredients. Totally not vegetarian. I asked my vet and he said dogs need protein from meat. But so do people and there are other ways do you think I should switch my dog over he’s a 5 year old husky and very healthy.

thanks,

Going to the Dogs

Dear Going to the Dogs- easy, lay a raw steak in a food bowl in another lay some vegetarian dog food. Let him pick. I am not a vet and I am a carnivore. I will always love meat. I can’t believe they even make vegetarian dog food. I am all about quality not quantity. What I mean by that is if I can have 105 years of sucking down tofu and bean sprouts instead of 80 years of eating meat having alcohol and partying like it’s 1999 then I am going to chose B. I say this with a straight face, knowing I am over 1/2 way there and have lived this life to the fullest. I understand people wanting to be healthy and applaud that your body, your choice. If your dog is cool with the lack of meat in his diet and your vet says it’s ok then do what makes you happy. I like corn fed veal A LOT so if you switch him to a vegetarian lifestyle please send me your info so I will know where to find ~~him to eat him~~ for his safety during a zombie attack . xo ThePeachy1

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That’s end of the ride for today folks, remember 3 questions every Tuesday. send yours in to beingpeachy@gmail.com