As you know Wednesday is my ” free day ” and I usually throw a funny email or joke from my Dad in here. Why? Because he is hilarious and also because he sends me ( and 10,000 other people ) about 30 jokes a day.
Yesterday I saw someone post on FB that their 76 year old Dad just got a Droid X and was now sending out Text messages.
I told them “my dad is a technology buff, he has multiple cell phones, a pc, a laptop and a gps. problem is he asks if he can get facebook on his gps, why his phone isn’t giving him directions and if the laptop will take a call for him..”
I love my Daddy. So here is a joke from him.
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right
in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on the shoulder.
He hung out his window and flipped the woman off.
“Man, that guy is stupid” I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and
wave whenever a female does anything stupid to me in traffic;
and here’s why…
I drive 38 miles each way to work. That’s 76 miles, of which 16 is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. So, if you just look at the
7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane.
That’s 7 cars every 40 feet for just the 32 miles that traffic is bumper to bumper.
That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars, plus the rest of my 34 mile
commute which is not bumper-to-bumper, where I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.
Statistically half of these are driven by females, that’s 18,000. In any given group of
females, 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. . . . That is 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding,
that’s 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously
considered suicide or homicide, that’s 98. And, 34% describe men as their biggest problem,
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and
the number is increasing.
That means, that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy
love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide,
is having the worst day of her period, and is armed.
No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn’t DREAM of flipping her off.
So as you just learned be careful who you flip off. Now go out and have a great day.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kodie Pipps and Katie Kresner, ThePeachy1. ThePeachy1 said: My Dad explains why he is cautious around women and the dangers of road rage. http://bit.ly/b3HcTe […]
so sad…..so true….BUWHAHAHAHAHA!
He is a wise man. I want to be on your dad’s email list. What’s it gonna take?
So… was your dad a mathematician or a statistician? Or simply an imaginastician too bored on his daily commute? Cool joke, I like your dad.
Bwwwaahhhaa!! Gudden !!
@ Everybody. Yes my Dad is hilarious and he rocks socks. He is not a mathematician or a statistician he grew up picking cotton in AL then working in a peanut factory and never went to high school because he joined the military when he was 15. He became a load master, so his skills had to be “NO MISTAKES” on all things math to keep the bird in the air fully loaded. He fought in a couple wars, traveled the world and today he serves those that have served even though he is twice retired. The jokes are not always his, I don’t think this one is his but instead a forward because he would never bring up PMS to ladies. LOL. Being on my dads email list to get a kabillion forwards is not hard, but it’s like chocolates, you never know