Funny stuff Friday- I break my vows

Posted on February 4, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in Funny Stuff Friday, It's Juicy

WOOT WOOT

IT’S FRIDAY Y’ALL !

When I started blogging I laid some ground rules. I wouldn’t blog on weekends, I wouldn’t push merchandise for free ( even crack whores get paid y’all) and everyone was fair game as blog fodder if they put it on the internet.

I like to spend 99.9% of the time on this blog dedicated to showcasing my amazing capabilities to exceed any standards set by other at being an epic asshat. Then I had these awesome tie in stories of how my husband although very intelligent ( see ubber geek overlord) had done some pretty magnificently stupid funny stuff.

Then he explained that since he is the Sys Admin my blog could disappear like Jimmy freaking Hoffa, if I posted some of the stories I had stupidly pitched to him. Thus curbing my artistic flow.

YES HE STIFLED ME ! WITH A THREAT OF A DISAPPEARING BLOG !

But over the months and hundreds of posts he stopped reading my blogs, because Mafia Wars is super duper demanding of his time. I see this as my opportunity to go ahead and make you laugh (at us) this weekend.

At a certain point in a mature married mans life, the realization of mortality smacks them in the nuts and they lose their minds. Some guys buy convertibles or motorcycles, some guys have affairs with their secretaries or any other young and willing piece of tail that stumbles by looking for a sugar daddy. Some guys, well they do what my husband is doing.

( he’s not getting a convertible because we have 1 kid in college and 1 kid in 4th grade, he would have to chainsaw the roof off his old crusty Nissan to even come close to a convertible.)

( I ruined the affair idea by putting in a rule saying he could have an affair but the chick better clean this house freaking spotless before each date and cook the family dinner twice a week. Which if you think about means, I am telling him to be a man-whore so I can have a maid. It took the appeal out of the affair idea)

Following in the footsteps of the ( anti-christ) famous Justank Beiber my husband is facing his midlife issues by you tubing himself playing drums. So hey Usher I sure hope your listening because I need a maid, and probably a convertible.

I present to you- a video- my man- made of himself- playing drums- to POKEMON.

Yep, that’s my man y’all.

Don’t hate me because my man is so mad hot banging on the drums to pokemon. I am just glad he’s not wearing his ” I love cats” shirt and sandals in this one. Did anyone else notice the camera angle? WTF Droid, it’s like you put the square on your crotch? Make up your mind are you going to be like Beiber or Cyrus. Also I should probably buy you a purple hoodie today.

Hurry up this house isn't going to clean itself.

Have a great weekend guys, remember it’s not a job it’s a journey enjoy the ride and Be Peachy!

XO

PEACH OUT

Yesterday I was honored to receive the “Stylish Blogger Award” from my Cobra Sister over at ReckMonster it was awarded to my other Blog ” ThePits” but as you know all my awards are stashed in 1 place right up there at the top. Thanks girl, I can’t wait to tear up NOLA with ya.

give me your O face

Posted on February 3, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy

Yep it’s that time of the week where I pull a random post straight off my facebook account and share it with you. Remember if your facebook doesn’t look like my facebook you need way cooler friends feel free to join us.

Remember the days of the posts I pulled each had over 100 comments. One was about me taking a shower, and one was about my cat suing me. Not that anyone could think it was ok to put a StarFleet Captain in a speedo but I did and it’s there so get therapy and move on. So here’s just a drop into my recent asshattery I hope that you will join us on FaceBook.

As you see below this is from my personal facebook ( click here) not my blog facebook ( click here) Yes I just shamelessly whored out my facebook accounts, also you can follow me on twitter @IamThePeachy1. ( I clearly have no freaking pride)

Always ready to let my inner sci fi geek hang out. ( I married a military guy named Kirk, and have friends named Borg and Picard, not even kidding!) I was off to bed and left this message up.

This is by far the BEST ever car commercial. From what I am seeing it is set to air during the super bowl which we all know is famous for it’s great commercials.

Enjoy your Thursday I hope you aren’t snowed in, unless you want to be snowed in, then I totally hope you are.

XO

PEACH OUT

A Joke from my Daddy- WTG Wednesday

Posted on February 2, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy, The Peachy Tree

If you are a follower chances are you have been privy to my secret WMD (Wonderful Mulit- forwarding Daddy).. My daddy is 79, he is awesome. Some technology may elude him but there is one thing this man has mastered. He can forward 278.5 emails to all 822 people in his contact list 10+ times a day. His priceless passing on of humor from his veteran buddies, former county co workers and anyone he has ever met at a gas station in any state. Because if you meet him and your not a total asshat you are GETTING ON HIS EMAIL LIST.

ENJOY !

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A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was upset. ‘You are a disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you do this to me — a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right away!’

And the husband replied, ‘Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.’

‘Go ahead,’ she sobbed,’ but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!’

And the husband began — ‘Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.’

The husband took a quick breath and continued – ‘She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

‘Please … Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?