Fun with Facebook – WWII For Todays Youth

Posted on August 19, 2010 by ThePeachy1 in FaceBook Fun

Ok so if you are a regular here you know this is the day of the week I snag a random status off my wall showing how genius and cool and twisted my facebook friends are and tell you if you don’t have friends like mine then your doing it wrong. Today is different. Because yesterday I came across something so full of awsesomesauce so wonderful, so brilliant that I had to share with you. The downside. I had absolutely nothing to do with it. It was the brain child of a genius named @acmebrandmatt on twitter or you can find his blog here and I found the article here .

*** Disclaimer*** Please go ahead and swallow any liquid and use the restroom prior to reading this, you are about to enter the realm of pure genius. I am not repairing your computers or paying for your dry cleaning. Consider yourself warned.

If this doesn’t warrant a Phd in History there is something wrong, even the time stamps are the dates of the events. To mix today’s lingo and social media terms and events into historical events to paint a picture equal to that of a modern day Pollock. To honor this, I follow step 1, I cut a hole in a box, in hopes that history never repeats itself and papa never feels the need to preach again.

PEACH OUT..

WWDDW- what would Daddy do Wednesday

Posted on August 18, 2010 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy

It’s Wednesday my free flow day. I decided to let you in on a little secret weapon. My Daddy. If you have read along for any period of time you realize my daughter and my Daddy are endless pools of humor. Although at very opposite ends of the funny spectrum.

Not everything they say is PC, however he still does not swear in front of ladies. He sends me about 30-50 emails a day because it makes him laugh and they usually either make me laugh or facepalm. Here is some of what he sends me.

*****************
A man boarded a plane with six kids..

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned
Over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours ? ”

He replied, ” No Ma’am, I work for a condom company.
These are customer complaints. ”
*****************

One day my housework-challenged husband decided

To wash his Sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room,

He shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the
Washing machine?’

‘It depends,’ I replied.

‘What does it say on your shirt?’

He yelled back, ‘ OHIO STATE ! ‘

And they say
Blondes are dumb….
*******************************

A couple is lying
In bed. The man says,

‘I am going to make
You the happiest woman in the world..’

The woman replies,
‘I’ll miss you……….
****************************

‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, ‘honey, what do you think the
Neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’

She replied ‘Probably that I married you for your money,’ .
*****************************

Q: How do you
Keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the
Email folder ‘Instruction Manuals’
*****************************
These are actual quotes taken from Government employee performance evaluations…

1. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom
and has started to dig.”

2. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”

3. “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more
of a definite won’t be.”

4. “Works well when under constant supervision or cornered like a rat in a trap.”

5. “When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change
feet.”

6. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”

7. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them.”

8. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”

9. “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the
better.”

10. “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it
all together.”
********************************

ok that’s it for today. I love my daddy he is made of awesome.

PEACH OUT

Non Advice for tell it Tuesday

Posted on August 17, 2010 by ThePeachy1 in Peachy Advice

Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness” NOT MAKING THIS UP. Google it, I have been 3 and 4 for over 2 months. So proud. So if you send in your question, which you’re totally welcome to do, to beingpeachy@gmail.com, PULEEZE for the love of baby cheeses know that your advice is coming from someone who is known for “epic asshattedness”.

Proud to announce I am featured over on OverThinkingMama today
for her TellAllTuesday interview part II.

Dear ThePeachy1;

My sister is getting married and I have been helping her plan and pick and get everything together. It has been a lot of fun, but a lot of stress. Constant running and changing and planning. I am trying to work really hard to make her wedding day special for her and the wedding of her dreams since our parents live so far away and are not in a situation to help pay for it. The problem is she just told me that I will not be the maid of honor and instead it will be a college friend she hasn’t seen for years and since it’s a small wedding I am cut from the wedding party. I am hurt to the core because of this. I love my sister and we have always been close. I know this is because I dated her fiancées best friend and it didn’t work out because he was a real pushy ass, and he is going to be the best man. To think I will be left out of this special day really hurts and every time she calls me to help her with something I want to scream it’s not my job. How should I handle this.

signed,
Kicked to the curb

Dear Kicked to the Curb, Helping your sister ( or anyone) plan a wedding is a huge undertaking. I applaud you for stepping up and being there for her. Your sister will need you more when this marriage goes full speed into the shitter because she realizes her husband is part of the card carrying moron club and. I am assuming he is behind this with help from his friend so yeah it wont last long, unless your sister is a huge brainless twit either way your going to need lots of kleenex and wine to get her and you through this start stocking up on those with the money you saved by not buying the ugly ass dress you know the bitch would have made you wear. Good luck xo ThePeachy1

money would have been spent better on wine then this slinky Neapolitan ice cream dress. Trust me.

Peachy,

I saw your advice to the person last week about precious snowflake children and try outs. You are so mean. Children are a gift from god and each one is a precious snowflake. I think that people like you who have “perfect” children need to stop being so judgmental and realize this world would be a kinder place if we all openly loved each and every child. Everyone should play and everyone should get a trophy.

sincerely,
Calling you out

Dear Calling you out- BAWAHAHAH, oh sorry I am laughing at you right now. Obviously you have no clue of who I am or my life. As far as the perfect children I have please go and read this story from my archives. Then come back here and we will talk about precious snowflakes. Also I would suggest you NOT get a shirt saying you want to love every child. Unless you are Michael Jackson. Which would make this really creepy since you emailed me 3 days ago and he is dead. Say Hi to Elvis for me and see if you can get the lotto numbers. ThePeachy1

captain kirk, what is this Perfect children she speaks of?

OH Captain my Captain, please explain this concept.

Dearest Peaches. I need help, my twin daughters got scholarships to 2 different colleges in 2 different states. The only option I see is to get an apartment in between them but I don’t want to rent out my house because we have put so much money in it and I know renters would not respect it. I can’t stand the thought of not being able to see them on a weekly basis but my husband says we can’t leave the house empty. Your guidance would be appreciated.
Double Trouble Mom

Dear DoubleTrouble Mom- You have 2 choices, let them go out into the world with the life skills you gave them and make choices and learn, or convert those scholarships into my daughters name. On the upside you and your husband can take up new hobbies like naked ping pong and other fun stuff. Do not freak out about them moving out, because if they are close to you and you are freaked it could rub off on them and they could get freaked and then you just have a family full of freaked out women. Which will probably make your husband start drinking and since he will be naked with a ping pong paddle it will probably involve the cops and local news, then you will be writing me with a new problem. xoxo ThePeachy1

do not attempt this at home

so that’s it for this week friends, other than this awesome cartoon sent to me by a reader.

I received this image in an email. totally not mine, totally hilarious.

Fun with Facebook – WWII For Todays Youth

WWDDW- what would Daddy do Wednesday

PEACH OUT

Non Advice for tell it Tuesday

XO

PEACH OUT !