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Winter StormTrooper Warnings- Funny StUfF FrIdAy

Posted on January 14, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in Funny Stuff Friday, It's Juicy

Unless you have the king of luck that causes you to win the 350 million lottery or to live on a tropical island, you know

IT’S THE SNOWPOCOLYPSE OF 2011 !

I didn’t win the lotto and don’t live on a tropical island but I do live far enough south that my kid has never seen snow.  Which means we own “jackets” not “coats” or “parkas” or “snow gear”.  However the news is doing NOTHING BUT covering every stupid flake that falls on this country making stupid proclamations like,  ” the entire country is blanketed in snow”  or “snowstorm across the nation”.

Thus making my kid run to the window and say, ” so we really don’t live in America do we mom, this is sort of like your tooth fairy lie?”

After I hypnotized him and made him believe up was down and this was not the droid he was looking for.  We watched the national news.  It looked like this to us.

winter storm trooper warning map, using bed intruder song

I think they are getting lazy isn't that the bed intruder song?

and of course those awesome graphics they throw up every 2 seconds basically screaming the END IS NEAR !!!   But if you actually read them, they have a real message in there.

warning, yeti sighting,  hazardous travel near the death star, send messages via r2d2

Woah ! "seems like" no I am pretty sure it is.

I went to my handy dandy weather radio to see if WE had anything to worry about. Apparently I can’t find this century on OUR weather radio.

outdated weather radio

I sure hope they bring Mt Dew and Cheesecake.

I went ahead and took my van to the gas station to fill it up just in case ( since that’s what we do for hurricanes )  and I saw this.

arguing married storm troopers

OH Janet. really?

My kid had to use the bathroom, because honestly there isn’t a public restroom he doesn’t want to visit which he knows damn well is one of my huge phobias.

hurry up Jim, really we all gotta go

It appears we have a Storm Trooper Warning here too?

So we got our supplies and hurried home to “hunker down” because again, that’s what we do for hurricanes.

Of course nothing happened.  Not 1 single flake.  But when the Fed Ex guy showed up he looked like this.

fed ex yeti, winter storm trooper warning, beingpeachy, the peachy1

and he was wearing shorts.

So that’s it, I spent way too much time making these graphics, and probably only I will find them hilarious.  Blah, don’t get ate by a yeti this weekend.

xo

PEACH OUT

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being peachy, fed ex, funny stuff friday, graphics, humor, snow flakes, snowpocolypse, thepeachy1, weather radios, winter storm trooper warning, yeti 8 Comments Read More

Fun with Facebook Thursday

Posted on January 13, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in Funny Stuff Friday

My facebook friends are awesome. If you have been around a while you will remember the great 100+ person shower status message or my cat suing me .  Those were really the golden days.

The new facebook makes me feel cold, alone and rocking back and forth in the closet.  I am not happy because, I do live for your facebook posts, and comments,  also it kind of TOTALLY SCREWS UP MY THURSDAY POST !  Mark Suckenberg, I hope your happy you’re happy.  Why don’t you just throw a bucket of cow blood and pig meat on me while I am in my formal?  Jerk.

If you are my friend on facebook, come back to me, seek me out and leave me a note letting me know you can still see me,  if your not my friend on facebook yet, WTF is your problem?  Friend me, I will accept it.

GENIUS

Hamlet Hates Housework
see more Fail

********************************************************************

A NARCISSISTIC NIGHTMARE

Hot or Not
see more Fail

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MORONS

Another Victim of The Scientific Method
see more Fail

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BOSTON COPS HAVE TWITTER HUMOR

facebook-fail-twitter-zombi
see more Fail

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RESTAURANT STATUS FAIL

funny-facebook-alli-5guys
see more Fail

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SOUTHERN LOVE

Creepy
see more Fail

****************************************************

That’s it, I am drawing the line.  I have to get ready for my family reunion I have decided to go ahead and wear make up, who knows who I could meet?

XO

PEACH OUT

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5 guys and fries, cousins dating, epic asshattedness, facebook fun, failing, friends on facebook, funny status messages, the new face book., thepeachy1 8 Comments Read More

Farting, Oil Changes and Trophies- It’s Science Baby

Posted on January 12, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy, The Peachy Tree

Hello fruits, it’s Wednesday and what I call, “Dry Hump Day”. That means we are forging through this week using our inner Viking. It also means it’s my free day. (meaning today is the only day I don’t have a specific category for, woo hoo !)

It’s been a while since I enlightened you with my made up, completely non founded, TOTALLY BRILLIANT SCIENTIFIC STUDIES.

The other day I didn’t change the channel after the princes’ educational TV show went off and I was too lazy to change the channel inadvertently forced to be subject to a national news show with a reporter who was a complete idiot in the 23-28 age bracket. Although she looked like a total slut a very professional young lady, she had the interviewing skills of boat paddle, young teen ager. Even though I was completely ignoring the show so I could twitter and facebook barely listening to this while multi tasking, the obvious lack of mastery of the English language ( which I am confident was her only language) and  over use of “uhm” and “like” as every other word, made her sound like a serious flipping idiot, she missed public speaking in daycare,, middle school, high school, at a grocery store, in a public toilet, she may have missed a class during her higher education.

The next day I was allowed off house arrest had to go to the incompetent fuster cluck competent massive medical center. I was subjected to a multitude of idiots people of all ages and noticed some things that urged me to fall to my knees and bang my head on the arm of the chair commit hari kari with a cracked spork, stab myself in the brain with cooked macaroni, do more research and subject you to it share it with you.

So I spent 30 minutes over 53 years studying this and creating you this cool graph.

public actions by age range for US citizens via ThePeachy1

click image for a larger view in a new window. Totally worth it.

Now, uhm, I will, like, leave you to, uhm, let this soak in, like, your brain like a depends on a, uhm, senior citizen which is also the same as, like, a huggies on an, uhm, infant.  Like, just saying.  Next time you’re,like, in public see if, uhm, my theory is true.

So there you have it.   I would love to hear the pertinent data you have, or your opinion. ( even though this is proven and well your opinion is just that.)

xo

PEACH OUT

* WARNING*- if any of this offends you, I whole heartedly apologize and hope you understand I am purely just an epic asshat, check out the winter clearance sale section of the sense of humor store at www.dontbeaprickitsajokemoron.com

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and the use of the words uhm and like, bar graphs, being peachy, farting, getting stoned at rock concerts, oil changes, scientific studies, studies of US citizen behaviors by age, thepeachy1, trophies 11 Comments Read More
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