Steven Tyler Dude looks like Janice Dickenson but will bring back American Idol- Fun with FaceBook

Posted on January 20, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in FaceBook Fun

It’s fun with Facebook friends time, and as you know the new facebook has been pretty much trying to kill me and end this feature. But thanks to an Epic Event last night on TV I have some play by play of everything you need to know via my sick twisted lovely brilliant friends. This is how it started.

Steven Tyler American Idol Judge 2011- photo credit Pop on Pop

Photo credit to Pop on POP http://poponthepop.com/2010/08/aerosmith-bassist-tom-hamilton-confirms-steven-tylers-judging-am/

is that frown surgical or gravitational, like my boobs

and the step by step commentary began, and I must say it was sparkley, like unicorn farts

american idol 2010 premier commentary play by play on facebook about steven tyler

dirt under his lip. it's an "understache" it's all the rage this year !

season 10 american idol steven tyler jennifer lopez, premier commentary and review,

COMMENT WINNER ALERT - GOES TO CHRIS- " it's Janice Dickenson !"

steven tyler will save idol, bringing audiences back with humor and grace

by the time you see this I am sure the WRECK dance/song thing I saw will be sadly viral. Which is an affront to all life just as much as snookie publishing a book when she can't read.

4 out of 5 dentist agree steven tyler will bring back ai popularity

in conclusion we all agree Steven Tyler will save American Idol

Also Randy was always a douche but Simon was a bigger douche so his douche outshined Randy’s douche so now Randy will finally have his doucheness recognized but he wont have anyone to follow since he is trully just a follower.

Steven Tyler will lead this show to any populatirity and there will be sex scandles and it will be juicy I can’t wait

Jennifer Lopez sold out and is too skinny I miss her big old butt, I hope she is able to toughin up a bit or this is going to be like Karaoke Idol.

No one knows why Megan is talking about Kujo.

Happy Thursday sexy people. If your not my Facebook friend consider this your invite. Send me a request I am easy, trust me. You can sit at my table.

xo

PEACH OUT

* Miss Nikki at MyCyberHouseRules totally pimped me out and now I owe her boat loads of money because she has a killa pimp hand. But I told her her check was in the mail which is funny because she moved from Canada to California and MAILED everything she owns to herself, which I find HILARIOUS ! Check my awards page here and my pimping by her here.

Email Jokes from my Daddy on WTG Wednesday

Posted on January 19, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy

So as you all know my dad is like 79 and has a computer and laptop which he calls “the big slow box” and “that little confusing all in 1 thing.”

He also owns a printer an has single handedly been responsible for the death of all mature trees in the south east so he can print out all these forwarded email jokes and deliver them to friends without computers.

Luckily- I am in the group of 10000000 people he has an email address for, because if he meets you like even at a gas station or you’re his waitress at IHOP, then he will be getting your email address so he can group you in.

Actually if he wasn’t my dad I would probably block him, also, every 3rd joke is non politically correct or political or both. That means every third joke is eligible for sharing with you guys. Did I mention he averages 10-20 forwards per day? Even the ones that are REALLY OLD urban legends and if it’s dealing with safety or health he will follow it up with a phone call so I wont pump gas and get my ankles slit.

After vetting a kabillion of his forwards from this week, I have found some pure gold to share with you.

enjoy the jokes, via my Daddy’s email forwards.

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Hey Sis, you got an outfit like this to match that spotted dog of yours? If so don’t wear it over to my house.

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Criminals Best Friend

this one is too easy.

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The Different Types of Sex

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX:

Two men were talking. “So, how’s your sex life?”
“Oh, nothing special. I’m having Social Security sex.”
“Social Security sex?”
“Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!”

LOUD SEX:

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, “I’ve got a big problem, doctor. Every time we’re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell.”
“My dear,” the shrink said, “that’s completely natural. I don’t see what the problem is.”
“The problem is,” she complained, “It wakes me up!”

QUIET SEX:

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session,
“How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?”
She glanced at him casually and replied, “You’re never home!”

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX:

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads: “Here Lies My Wife – COLD As Ever.”
“Yeah,” she replies, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone reads: “Here Lies My Husband – STIFF At Last.”

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and now I must go I have 7,800 emails in outlook alone, haven’t even brought up gmail and 32 voicemails? Why the HELL have we not purchased that tropical island yet?

xo

PEACH OUT

*I love my Daddy he is awesome and my hero, he also makes me laugh every day from his emails.

Surely I’m not helping these People- Non Advice-Tell it Tuesday

Posted on January 18, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in Peachy Advice

Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness” NOT MAKING THIS UP. Google it. (now I rank for several other horrific things including “robin willimas man junk” and “justank beaver” I am so proud- click here and see. Yes you can sit at my table during lunch, because I love you.

So if you send in your question, which you’re totally welcome to do, to beingpeachy@gmail.com, PULEEZE for the love of baby cheeses know that your advice is coming from someone who is known for “epic asshattedness”.

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Dear Peachy, we are fed up with the school systme and lack of teachers that even care bout our kids. my husband wants us to home school these kids. I am skared about it cause i dont do to well when i was in school. I look on line but its all god stuff. what should we do. teachinmom

Teaching Mom- uhm, ahh, yeah. well … I haven’t slept in a few days, also I have horrible technical writing skills so I would never dare to dream to be a grammar Natzi. Maybe you could consider letting the kids stay in for a bit and have a few meetings with the teachers to see if things can improve that way first. uhm. Good Luck xo ThePeachy1

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Dearest Peaches: Our son is 13 but very sheltered from things by us. We have replaced his goldfish every 6 months ( or when it dies) with a new one to keep him from the emotional trauma of his pet dying. We have been doing this since he was 4. The problem is 9 years of goldfish secret replacement duty is killing me. Do you think we should just let it die next time?
signed, TheGoldFishMom

Gold Fish Mom- wow, yeah I did that when my kid was 4 too. But I stopped. Because I figured he should learn about grief via a goldfish, then a hamster prior to us loosing any family members. Kids model you when you, but now he’s 13, and REALLY? He’s never had anyone or anything he loves die? Wow, that’s a lucky kid. It’s also your kid, and therefore your call. xo ThePeachy1

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Greetings Peachy1,

As you may or may not know, I have a broken ankle and have to wear a big clunky walking boot. Do you have any ideas on how to turn this into an asset during sexy times? It’s the left foot, if that helps you with your strategy.

Signed,

The One-Legged Opto-Mom

Dearest One Legged Opto-Mom- NO shit. really? This is your concern when you got a jacked up leg? OK lucky for you I break all my shit all the time. I happen to have some – “marital aid” devices to send, they will need to be assembled and the instructions are like from fucking IKEA or some shit, but, once you get the propeller on the trapeze it’s all gravy from there. Plus I have a few gimp readers who can totally give you their advice. Will you get this box if I just write, “OPTO-MOM on it? I don’t want Nadia Whatsherwhoreface getting this stuff. xo ThePeachy

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and there we have it, the Peachy standard, 3 emails one time a week on Tuesday. So send yours in if you need non advice on anything.

XO

PEACH OUT

Also Miss NIkki at MyCyberHouseRules gave me this kick ass award and since I am Team Count rather than Jacob or Edward or Bob I think it’s freaking awesome and rocks my socks.

Thanks Nikki I adore you too !

( visit Nikki here – http://www.mycyberhouserules.com/2011/01/new-address-new-award.html )