Funny Stuff Friday

Posted on April 29, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in FaceBook Fun, Funny Stuff Friday, It's Juicy, The Peachy Tree

Wow what a week huh? Yes it’s Friday and everyone seriously needs a laugh. I realize that there’s a big dealio wedding going on whatever. I hope they put as much time and effort into the marriage as they do the wedding so it wont be a royal flush. Also my apologies to all the “other Brides who thought this was going to be their day” it’s not, bad call on the date picking. Sorry, also use the same advice I gave to the royals, it’s not the day it’s all the days after that matter.

Can’t roll onto the funny without giving you guys the link to help out the people hurting from the horrific destruction in my neighboring states. Strong people pulling together. Follow the #alwx on twitter to stay updated.
For general monetary donations click here to go to the Governors Site
For local people, hands on, volunteering, or physical donations, click here for by county/town and specific needs. Again all our hearts go out to everyone in all States affected if you have a need or need to talk just hit me on Gmail and I will do my best to help or find you help however I can.

Now much needed grins, smirks, giggles, laughs and snorts. All sent to me by you my lovely friends. Thank you.

I love this man, honesty in advertising !

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the difference between stalking and having friends on the internet

times they are a changing....

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in .3 seconds he's go ONE SERIOUSLY unhappy guy

the latest in hover cat letchology

This is not what bob meant by a good by

this is exactly what gary meant by getting a good bj

Alright you warriors of the week. We’ve done it. Thick and thin, good and bad. We made it, please send your good thoughts to those in who need it right now where ever they are, and have a round on me this weekend. Remember, this life is a Journey not a Job, so go out and Be Peachy baby, enjoy the ride.

XO

PEACH OUT

When the wind blows….

Posted on April 28, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy, The Peachy Tree

It was nearly 20 years ago my world was turned upside down when my second child was born, I had no clue the words Apgar scores would mean so much and that lead me to write the 3 part series the hardest thing.

It was around 16 years ago I stood trembling in the road with my 2 babies as I watched everything I owned engulfed in a ball of orange while men in red trucks ran with hoses toward the ball. Then handed me a singular spoon, 1 tennis shoe and a blue plastic hanger to start our lives over.

It was 10 years ago when 58 days and 2 dear friends made the difference between the life and death of my darling Prince being alive today and being able to have a water balloon fight on his birthday this past weekend.

It was almost 6 years ago that a wall of water washed away 40 years of the hard work, memories, love and laughter of nearly everyone I know in the 4 counties around me. Yet for some reason, I was left nearly untouched? When not a school, fire department, hospital, or even a road was left, why. I searched for families with gas cans we filled in other states, with laptops powered on generators, looking for people. We painted on plywood and had adorable babies swimming in our bathtub to cool down. We had a well, and a generator. Our only damage was a trampoline that had flown over the house, grabbed the chimney and ripped off the fireplace which took down one wall, sure we lost the roof, but it stayed on, it merely snapped all the beams, we were indeed the lucky ones. Everyone was so equal. There were no socio economic classes. There was no race, no crime, everyone helped everyone was the same here, the roads were cleared by the neighbor men with chainsaws, the elderly were taken care of by the women with water, and the ladies who canned food shared with everyone. The teens cleared debris and watched babies so the others could drive looking for lost loved ones, or missing homes. You shared what you had, and you didn’t ask for anything because everyone knew what everyone needed and no Thanks was necessary. ( in case you haven’t figured it out that little storm was called Katrina)

It was less than 24 hours ago that over 200 people have lost their lives in my State and the States neighboring me. It was 2 counties north of me it didn’t even rain here. I see the sunshine and wonder why as I run through my facebook and twitter trying to do a roll call to check on everyone. There are no reasons I can offer. There are no words I can write that can make anything better. Nothing can take away the destruction, the loss, the pain, the hurt, the fear the will come back every time a dark cloud comes or those sirens ring out. The simple words I am so sorry are not enough. But I am. For the people that today are without shelter, scared, worried, and wondering what to do, there are people all over this little blue and green ball, thinking of you today that you will never know sending you good thoughts and strength. When it all feels lost, most things can be replaced, the things that can not, you must work hard to remember in your heart.

I will leave you with the most worthless words on the planet, yet they are all I have. I am so sorry.

From the Gulf Coast.. Sending love and good thoughts to those in in pain.

XO

PEACH OUT

**photo credit to wkrg.com mobile alabama**

Handing out Advice like Happy Pills

Posted on April 26, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy, Latest, Peachy Advice

Wow, who would have thought we would survive yesterday? I announced the winners and if I don’t hear from them all by Friday guess what I will draw replacement winners. Today is the day I pass out advice like happy pills on that special floor of the hospital, that I probably could get a minimum of a weekend pass to if I was honest to any medical professional.

Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness”,( click here and see)

So if you send in your question, which your totally welcome to do, to beingpeachy@gmail.com, PULEEZE for the love of Christ on a Bike know that your advice is coming from someone who is known for “epic asshattedness”.

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Dear Peachy,

I am considering taking up blogging. I like to write, but I don’t want to write about my kids, or drinking, or poetry, or crafts, or cooking, or my crappy marriage, or about anything very personal. Plus I have no idea how to start. I have heard it’s a great outlet to get things off your chest but I don’t want to turn into one of these people that just post pictures of their kids or complain about their husbands or something with a stupid poem. Plus I want to make money fast.

signed Ready 2 Write

Dear Ready 2 Write- I think it’s so great, that you have taken the time to wait. To think of starting to write, and bring your feelings to light. But my children they are my heart, and my husband he stinks of farts. Before the judgment you pass, will make you look like such an ass. As far as making cash in a flash, and getting things off your chest, working the archers will be best. Because the internet you see. Is a loving large community. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain… and an athlete..and a basket case… a princess… …and a criminal… XO PEACH OUT

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Dear Peachy1

My Wife insists that I hire someone to do “the little things” around the house. These are small mundane things I can totally do myself and I am quite capable of. It’s like she emasculates me at every turn. I don’t think she does it to be mean but honestly it hurts my man feelings and I don’t want to seem like a baby about it. How can I claim my domain?

King of the Castle

Dear King of the Castle- My husband is a Genius, no joke, seriously. But he’s like a savant. He can do like the square root of the speed of light in a vacum but he can’t figure out where the milk is. Yeah. While pregnant with our third child I spent 58 days in the hospital on day 32 Mr Mensa came to the hospital as he did daily like the good man he is. He leaned loving over the bed and said, ” honey where do we keep the towels?”. This worried me because there were only 2 things that could have gone on for 32 days. Either him and the 2 children at home had used the same towels for 32 days or they had not bathed. I love my Droid dearly and would never upgrade him for a handy man. I am sure your wife feels the same. It is true he can’t change the oil, or build a tree fort, or patch the dry wall, or find a salt shaker, or put cap on toothpaste. None of that matters to me. He accepts the fact that I rarely have dinner ready, leave dishes in the sink, am loud, obnoxious, can be found in pj’s and a pony tail, and write about our family on the internet. He kisses my forehead and thinks I am cute when I look like a troll doll, and I wouldn’t dare let him slam his adorable thumb with a hammer when I can hire someone we can watch do stuff so he can play mafia wars. So enjoy that your wife thinks you are far to valuable for the mundane chores, because trust me, she doesn’t want to do things like laundry. You’re on a pedestal in the Castle baby! XO PEACH OUT!

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Dearest IamThePeachy1

I live in CA and I was handed your business card. First why are your business cards in CA and second WTF do they say Writer, Public Speaker and Unicorn Trainer? Did I meet you at Mom2Mom ? Are you coming to BlogHer and will you be Speaking? I am dying to hear you on a panel.

Dear VanillaBeans- Congratulations, 1- I don’t know, was it folded like a little airplane those are pretty aerodynamic maybe it flew there. 2- because it has to say something and I have been known to do those things. 3- Not sure, I didn’t bring any cards to New Orleans so if you did, you would have met me under my real name, which is Snoibhahei9ohto 1938479387 ( use your Cap’n Crunch decoder ring, or look on facebook) 4- Don’t know yet, depends, not depends like the adult diaper thing although if I drive I would need one of those to make me get there faster, but if I fly I would need whatever the hell the vet gives my husbands cat, but I don’t want to pant like the cat because she does that creepy death pant thing but never dies, but I am sure they would land the plane if I were to breath like that and then everyone would throw their little empty plastic cups at me and that would suck. So skip the cat panting meds. I better wear a depends and drive but if a car company wants me to drive their car that would rock and I would wear a depends so I could have 2 sponsors and the car seat would be dry so DOUBLE BONUS WIN, and the car company could sell the car afterward minus Peachy pee. wow, no wonder I have no corporate sponsors other than my IT company huh? As far as speaking at BlogHer you can bet if I go I will indeed be speaking because it’s super hard for me to keep this trap shut. So if I go, see ya there, keep my card I will so sign it for you! XO PEACH OUT!

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So that’s it my juicy fruits. The rule is 3 questions every Tuesday so go ahead and send yours in. Take it easy and remember the rest of the week is just WTF? Hang in there !