I have this reoccurring dream, and it was the winter classic with the creepy stop action elf dude who went to the island of misfit toys.

This was almost as creepy as Polar Express.

Except it wasn’t toys, it was all my technological gear, and they were blaming me for them being there, and asking me to let them retire to someplace tropical with shuffle board, instead of that cold sad island with the furry beatsie that had the tooth ache.  ( NIGHTMARE MATERIAL) . Here are some visuals to help you understand.  But be warned the following may make you weep.

It was only 4 months old when " tragedy struck"

Here is a picture of my phone.  Now it was a birthday present from the Droid ( my husband), and it was an upgrade from what I had, so quit laughing.  I loved my phone as it was the first one to get reception in my house.  Since I live in podunk ville USA. Then it got crushed and the screen got broken by “cruella DUH ville” . Yeah she did it on purpose, and yeah she almost flew out the 5th foor of the hospital cause when you aint got much your protective of what you got.  That was December, I still use it. It was only a couple months old when the “incident” happened.  My husband found a replacement screen, and now it sticks out but I wont get cut on the glass. Although I don’t think they would let me on a plane with this thing..

I loved this thing, it was my connection to the world..

Here is a picture of my laptop.  The little sticker is where the warranty department says they wont fix my laptop that was under warranty ( by 11 days when it happened) because somebody accidentally picked it up by the screen and cracked the crystal display.  That was in December. I still use it. Can I see on it  you ask?  Well of course not, it’s broken, but I have it hooked to a monitor which defeats the purpose of a laptop.  AAAAAND again can’t get  on a plane with it, cause I would have to drag an extension cord and external monitor so they could see it boots, since the screen does not work.

I am not going to subject you to my dinosours printers.  They are a tad old, and constantly out of ink and constantly getting paper feed errors.  So I don’t / can’t print anything even though I have boat loads of printers.

Here is my house phone, which on a technology side is a VOIP, however I spiked the damn thing accidentally dropped it one day and broke the display so the caller ID doesn’t work which means, well I clearly can’t answer my house phone because it could be ANYBODY !  Ironically I  spiked the damn thing accidentally dropped it because the VOIP thing was driving me nuts with the delay and the dropping calls, so I blame technology for this.

These are just some of the digital cameras that didn’t even last a year, thru no fault of my own I must say.  NONE covered by the warranty or return policy.

They are dead, and probably contain meaningful pictures.

Wait does this go here? It still works...

This is the Princes’  Play Station 2.  He inherited it from his sister who is in her 3rd year of college.  I really don’t think I need to point out we don’t have ipods, and a DS.

Then there  is my GPS, I think the Brandname is DICK DICK, because there is never a situation where I am actually using it and it doesn’t think I am in the middle of a field screaming “turn around”  “turn around”.  It even thinks my house is in a pond that’s about 1/3 a mile from here. “you have reached your destination” well maybe you have reached your destination Dick Dick… kerplunk and splash.

I want a phone I can text from easily. when I say easily I mean one where each word does not contain some weird spanish/english mix because I hit the button 6 times instead of 3. I want to be able to check my twitter, email, facebook and blog all from my phone.  But I also feel a duty to purchase food for  my family each month.   I would love to be able to print, print crazy things, like receipts, invoices, and math work sheets for the prince.  I would love for The Prince and The Sama to have DSI or DS, I would love to provide an IPOD , IPHONE,  Icar that is not the same age as her and possibly dependable, or even an Ischolarship to her last year of college.

But wait……I do have a lovely digital picture frame which rocks socks so I can see that I have great kids.

I love this, and yes those are my kids feeding a goat.

Kids  who aren’t jealous that they don’t have these things, aren’t spoiled entitled children who will grow into nasty spoiled entitled adults. Who value hard work, saving money and enjoying what you have.   But in the end, as the Queen of the land of misfit technology, I sure would groove on some kickin technology….