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Thursday Fun With Facebook Friends

Posted on January 6, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in FaceBook Fun

WOW it’s been a long time since I pulled one of these. I hate the new profile and all the changes, I believe it has a direct correlation as to why I went from having mucho communications with all you wonderful people, to being a mime in a cube.

Of course it could just be that I am offensive or the 1200 facebook friends I have are super busy. Whatever I am blaming Mark Suckaburger and Face Book.

Anyway here ya go, fun with facebook via my fantastic friends, as usual something in that very moment triggered me to type something very publicly.

happy meal toys, stupid parents, deranged government, shut up

the mother on TV made me want to slam her uterus in a car door.

Without regard as to who I would offend, or how people would respond I just hit enter and there it was.

happy meal law suit, lazy parents, shut up, idiots, being peachy

things that piss me off, shitty parents, happy meals, bratty kidsDid you notice how quickly my status message can get off status?  It’s true I have the best, smartest, most wonderful and hilarious face book friends on the planet but they may also have a little ADD.

eating at mcdonalds, brat kids, bad parents, fast food, obesity

sue russia for inventing vodka, or smirnoffs for making it, sue everyone it's the new blackand the topic has been washed away, like my memory after 1/2 a bottle of Vodka, which oddly enough is where this happy meal issue lead.

czar of russia, royal families, frivolous law suits, rulers of the universe

you're too big to fit in here, bad choices, super size me, beingpeachy,

There we have it.  Obviously there is no topic not ready for discussion debate and derailing.

Just one of the reasons I love my face book friends like white choclate vodka sauce on cheesecake.

xo

PEACH OUT

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being peachy, facebook friends, fun with facebook, happy meals, lawsuit, mcdonalds, obese kids, parenting, stupid parents, the Peachy1, toys 5 Comments Read More

Email Joke from my Daddy- WTG Wednesday

Posted on January 5, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy, The Peachy Tree
As you know Wednesday is my free day.  Usually I toss up a funny joke from my dad or something someone has sent emailed me.  My Daddy has been a bit under the weather nearly 2 weeks, so I am really happy to have this smile from him to pass on to you.  Enjoy.
************************************
Abe and Esther after years of being diligent responsibly fiscal members of society are flying to Australia to celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am
afraid I have some very bad news.
“Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we may be able to land on the beach.”
“Since our transponder was lost about an hour ago and at my best judgement we are around 1200 miles off course, the odds are  we may never be rescued have to live on the island for the rest of our lives.  We need to be calm and help each other and think of the good of the group.”
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely .
An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, “Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?”
“No, sweetheart,” she responds.
Abe then asks, “Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?”
“Oh, no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says.
“One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?” he asks.
“Oy, forgive me, Abie,” begged Esther. “I didn’t send that one, either.”
Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 40 years.
Esther pulls away and asks him, “What was that for?”
Abe answers, “They’ll find us!”

Have a Great Wednesday People.

XOXO

PEACH OUT

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airplane crash, beingpeachy, bill collectors, donations, jokes from my daddy, stranded, thepeachy1, wtg wednesday 7 Comments Read More

Tell it Tuesday- or stuff I should have answered already

Posted on January 4, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in Peachy Advice

Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness” NOT MAKING THIS UP. Google it. )(now I rank for several other horrific things including “robin willimas man junk” and “justank beaver” I am so proud- click here and see.

The following are emails that I probably should have answered like 1 or 2 weeks ago, because I think they are time sensitive.  But hey people you get what you pay for and this non advice is totally free.

Dear ThePeachy1-

My ex boyfriend works with a guy I really like.  He has asked me to the company party which is famous for being rowdy and a bit crazy.  I want to go with the guy I like but I worry I will ruin my shot with him if I get drunk around my ex. Our sexual chemistry was HOT !

signed,

Torn between 2 lovers

Dear Torn Between 2 lovers-  hrm I wonder how that went, can you email me the fall out from this event possibly include photos or video?  Did it look like this?  xo  ThePeachy1

company christmas party, happy santa, non advice from thepeachy1

all the party people scream HO !


Dearest Peachy,

Please help me, I love my kids 11 and 6 but they are monsters. Spoiled monsters.  We are ok financially but by no means rich.  They have the manners of gremlins and I can’t seem to get them under control.  When I take away their iphones and laptops they just punish me by being nasty.

Help me,

The Doormat Mom

Dear Doormat Mom-  Ttake them to Willy Wonkas  place because all the brats get it in the end there.  xoxo ThePeachy1

spoiled monsters, bratty kids, willy wonka

Poor Veruca NOT ! http://www.janegoodwin.net/



Hey Peach

My in-laws are coming for the Holidays, they never want to o anything other than sit around ” visiting” for days and days, I can only take so much. Also their visits are like a stab to my culture are I am Hispanic and they are not and make “NON funny” stereo type jokes but think it’s ok since they are also a minority.    They are rude and treat me like a servant and complain if I speak Spanish or hide in my closet hoping they will disapear.

Esposa

Dear Esposa-  My redneck neighbor says that pigs will eat everything but the skull.  Then I was thinking, the skull would make a hella candle holder right?   Set up an etsy right away !  xo ThePeachy1

skull candle holder, solution for pesky inlaws
This could be your MIL.
photo credit tohttp://www.thisnext.com/item/09406863/2243A553/Pink-Skull-Candle-Holder

That’s it for this week my friends.  Take care and feel free to send in any questions you might need non advice for.  The general rule is 3 a week every Tuesday.   BEINGPEACHY@GMAIL.COM

xoxo

PEACH OUT

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and bratty willy wonka kids, beingpeachy, christmas ho's, epic asshattedness, inlaws, pigs, skulls, tell it tuesday advice column, thepeachy1 10 Comments Read More
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