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and there I was TRAPPED !

Posted on May 13, 2010 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy
3 screaming kids and me in a waiting room.

if you have been reading along,  Monday was full of medical appointments for the Droid and the Prince.  This made me happy because it wasn’t me.  However it did place me as a prisoner trapped in 8×8 cement block waiting room with not 1, not 2, but 3 lovely vocal babies.  I have come to the conclusion that prisoners who are bad, as in shank the guard bad, should be placed in a small room with these 3 choir like baby gagas in a small room next to them for a few hours.   But I didn’t shank any body,  ( that day), and I wasn’t in the next room I was in the same room.
But  it was really clear this room was built for some specific purpose other than just “waiting” because the acoustics of the room were suited perfectly for an opera recital but not so much for a waiting room for children.  Here is what I was looking at, or more accurately listening to.

Upon entering the room, I saw the sleep deprieved dad, with extrememly verbal 13 month old Sam.  Sam had just learned to make motor boat noiese but had not learned volume control. Sam also loved to make noises any kind, squealing included. Sam was a happy guy, sam was a cool guy, Sam’s dad clearly had not slept in a long time.

I sat to the left of Sam and his dad, which placed me to the right of Stressed out Mom, this Mom was at her breaking point, 2 kids, under 3, 1 screamer and 1 whiner.  She had the ” I know why wild animals eat their young look”

When I entered the room, they both looked at me apologetic and Sams dad even said, “sorry, hope you brought ear plugs.”  In a flash it all came back, the wanting to burst into to tears, the wishing I could use a star trek transporter, the wishing shock collars were available for toddlers. I remembered the looks on their faces, and I understood.

I countered Sams dad with.  “Oh no, I don’t even have to be here, but I heard this is where the cool people come to hang out, plus I haven’t been around babies in a long time.  I am happy to see them”

“Both parents breathed a quite sigh of relief, and then a yeah right you nut bag look”.

I tried not to be a nut bag baby fiend, by pretending to read a magazine but it was clear that the babies wanted to play peek a boo, then they wanted me to read to them, and play patty cake. I encouraged the parents to let them out of the strollers and cleared the waiting room table and set up a safety barrier.  The sleep deprieved dad fell asleep and the stressed mom, actually watched TV and read and article.  Would I want to do this daily, NO.  Was it a big deal to be nice, considerate and remember how stressful and hurtful it was to be in a room with my kids when they were little with some grouchy person who acted like our presence was razor blades on their spines, NO..  I I enjoyed it, hearing babies laugh is like angels blowing bubbles, it’s so pure. Giving parents a relaxing moment, well it’s the least I can do. I admit after 2.5 hours I was ready to leave, but I reminded myself that I could leave, the parents although blessed with beautiful children were stuck in their loud sleep deprived, stressed out lives.   So next time your in a restaurant, waiting room, or heaven forbid airplane, with a  baby, remember, that baby will be paying your social security and the parent will probably hasn’t slept a decent night since it’s birth, take a second to let them know, it’s OK.

3 screaming kids and me in a waiting room.

I slipped on my big girl panties and gussied up for some baby time

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activities, airplanes, babies, crying, parenting, screaming, waiting rooms 3 Comments Read More

This thing is totally rigged… bad spam.

Posted on May 12, 2010 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy
I got this spam email that asked me about my manners.

I was innocently minding my own business when this spam email came in to my mail box.   It was titled How Polite are you.  I have to admit, chills ran down my spine and a bead of sweat appeared on my brow.  Why you ask. Well I am gonna tell you.  To say I have a laid back often inappropriate style would probably be like saying the oil rig explosion in the gulf is just a little mess.

It’s not like I don’t know how to have manners. I do, I swear, stop laughing at me.   I choose instead to just be a nice person and have fun, so sometimes my etiquette gets thrown out the window a little pushed aside.  My Grandmother was the queen of social etiquette, always proper, pinky up, ankle crossing, lovely dream of the perfect lady.  As her granddaughter I was tortured taught all these wonderful things but chose to climb trees and play softball and listened closely.

So I decided to take this dumb spam quiz manners test.  But I knew I would have to be honest and not just click the things that I knew were the right answers I am inappropriate not stupid I could get a good score. But in the interest of science I did the right thing.

The first 2 questions no problem, cell phones in restaurants, holding elevators.  OMG  ALERT THE PRESSES I HAVE MANNERS !  Then I get all stumped on questions 3.

manners question

uhm can I ask the audience?

Let’s get this right people.  I don’t run. I run for 2 reasons and 2 reasons only.  If there is a fire, and if there is a sale, that’s it. Ask my Doctor it’s actually in my medical records I made him write it in because I am sick of being asked that question.  Also I see no possible reason for me to be in a gym. Well unless my main man Brendan was there ( cause he totally wants me) so if he called and asked I would be there, but I still wouldn’t run, not even for him, well unless he was on fire. So ok I am 2 for 3 right cause I have no idea what gym etiquette is and if I were running the gym would have to be on fire so I would probably try to drag my friend out of there and that’s not a choice.

Then question number 4.

what do you take to dinner as a guest

This thing is rigged to make me look bad.

Ok, if a friend has me over to dinner what do I bring?  Usually my husband and my rapier like wit.  Yet amazingly this is not a choice.  I don’t bring wine because any friend of mine either already has it or knows I want vodka and we wouldn’t be eating if we were drinking, 2 different events people.  However I always  ask, ” is there anything we can bring”  and is that a choice?  NO. Why, because apparently they meant an acquaintance because friends don’t have to have manners, at least my friends don’t.

So you get a good idea how fast this is turning into a big fat flame of me failing.  I don’t think I need to go on.  But to save you from the pain of this, there was also a question about mailing RSVP’s, being late and forgetting birthdays, all of which I have already covered under I the I am a sucky friend post. So we don’t need to pour salt in that wound Spank you very much.

In the end in true spam form I had to skip about 63 billion hundred and five offers for things I do not want and I got my results.  Drum roll please….

“You mind your manners: Although you may have a slip up here or there you make an effort to be polite and courteous.“

Woo hooo….  Go Me….  I rock… heck yeah…  I got’s me some manners people…  Watch out world !

I got this spam email that asked me about my manners.

Even my email tried to warn me this spam was bad news.

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being on time, cell phone use, courtesy, elevators, etiquette, manners, rsvp, tests No Comments Read More

21 years

Posted on May 11, 2010 by ThePeachy1 in The Peachy Tree
21 years of Samantha

21 years ago today I was laying  in a hospital bed terrified, horrified, unsure of what was about to happen.  I knew my life would change everyone said it would but I had no idea to what extent they meant. It already had. I stopped drinking, smoking, and going out. I started sleeping more and eating right and I had a 52 inch waist. I wore clothes that had big fat bows on them in the neck area ( supposedly in the 80’s to distract from the 52 inch waist).   Little did I know, the day your life started my life would also start.  As you drew your first breath. I drew mine and was forever changed.

baby girl on her first easter

Samantha on her first Easter 21 years ago

Your 21 today, so technically you should be out partying or celebrating or whatever cool and fun stuff 21 year olds do. However your sitting in your class at your University taking finals, then your moving your crap out of your dorms, all of which you pay for on your own. Why?  Because you got the raw end of the deal honey.

See being my first child you were like the first piece of pie, my starter kid.  I was all new at this mom thing for every single thing you did, from walking and talking to driving and college. So I didn’t get it right. Not even close I guessed my way thru and honestly despite all my many many failures your still here and thriving.  You are strong. Does this mean I am getting it right now that I have 21 well seasoned years under my belt. That would be a big fat NO.  But obviously your little brother has an easier road, why?  You plowed the road.  You let me know what would and would not be the utter downfall of my parenting and therapy inducing actions, or would cause immediate demise of the child in question.  If ever you thought I was guiding you on this journey, just know you were guiding me just as much.  Every day was an adventure in which you taught me more about life and myself.  I don’t know if there will ever be a proper way I can put into words how much I appreciate you, how deeply I feel the need to thank you, and how sincerely I want to apologize to you.  For not being a perfect mom, for not even being close.  For loosing my cool and my mind, too many times to mention.  For putting too much pressure on you to make me feel like a good parent. For forgetting some important date. For embarrassing you at some vital social formative moment in your life. Or for saying something that no matter how benign I thought it was that may have hurt you.   Do you rock?  Why yes you do, in fact you rock so hard that Areosmith called and they want you to give them some tips for their next tour. ( yes they are still touring)  Are you smart, why yes you are, so smart that Einstein called and said he needed help with some stuff.  ( Impressive since he’s dead right? ) Are you witty, so much that you make me snort mt dew out my nose every time we talk.  ( causing me to keep buying new keyboards. )  Are you beautiful, so much that I get teary eyed looking at you.  ( ruining endless pairs of contacts).  Are you fantastic yep, so fantastic that the roses stop to smell you. ( they tweeted how flipping fantastic you are ! )  So even though you are the one that pointed out I have some white hair highlights, I need you to know one thing beyond any shadow of doubt. You are superb. You are my Samantha, a remarkable strong, woman, I am proud to know. Who managed to survive my parenting, to become this amazing person I hope to be like when I grow up.   Thank you darling for the best 21 years of my life.  Happy Birthday my love.

21 years of Samantha

21 years of Love and laughter. I thank you.

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appreciation, birthday, childbirth, college, daughter, failure, first child, parenting, struggle, thanks 4 Comments Read More
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