I woke up this morning and needed to cleanse my soul.
See here’s the problem. I am not at blogher. No big deal right. I am not a huge fan of 2500 screaming people unless they are throwing money and cheesecake at me anyway. But at blogher you get swag. From what I hear BOATLOADS of awesome swag.
As you know, my cell phone is even though only 1 year old was murdered a couple months ago in a tragic accident when I was helping a friend out. It is held together with scotch tape and wears a tin foil hat for hopes of signal. Oddly enough that is the same time when my precious laptop was assaulted and now lives a lesser quality of life as no longer a laptop but more of a, ” crap I am wired to an external monitor, thus making me not a laptop anymore”. I thought the Karma gods would be good to me and help me out, since I was helping someone when it happened. But since then the Xbox died and so did my husbands car. I think the message is pretty clear.
The point here people is the I NEED SAWAAAAAAG!.. Like I need air, like I need cheesecake, like I need vodka, ok wait I went too far there. But you get the point right?
So last night I did twitter parties
traded my soul for magic beans and contests and acted like a product hashtag whor e blahdy blah blah and guess what?
I did not win. Surprise ! NOT. And here is why.
It’s because I have a better chance of actually solving Calculus problems with a sober Lindsey Lohan while simultaneously playing Chess with a sober and sane Brittany Spears, while Mel Gibson cleans my house and thanks me for being an under appreciated woman. And getting struck by lightening in a cave.
Yeah my luck is that sweet. I am missing the chromosome that allows you to be lucky. Not joking here people .. I speak the truth, hand to cheesecake. I wont bore you with a list of examples. You can read my Moronic Monday stories if you want that kind of dirt.
So I woke up this morning feeling dirty. Dirty like when you get so smashed at a bar that the last thing you remember is possibly kissing some un known guy and then when you wake up you realize you can’t find your panties but you totally blacked out and don’t know if anything happened so you call your friends and try to play it off like, ” wow last night was all fun and stuff WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?” dirty. Yep.
So I atoned for my sins.
I made my kid pancakes. Not just any pancakes, but
sorry your mommy sold her soul really cool pancakes.
For inspiration I went and looked at Jim’s Pancakes. You know the KICK BUTT Ninja Dad that makes his daughter edible art. You can see his stuff by clicking here. I saw ferris wheels, glasses, bling, penguins, and bridges with water and stuff. I was inspired.
I ran to my kitchen and cleansed my soul by making these.
I can not guarantee this won’t happen again.
because I’m a swag/product hussie . But for now I feel much better and my kid thinks I rock. ( I will save Jim’s site in case I need more soul cleansing.)
I hope you all have a an amazing weekend and if you need to cleanse your soul there are 3 surefire cures: make pancakes, shop or send me gifts. I hear all those things are effective especially the last one.
Im crashing that Blogher shit next year and stealing all the swag! We’ll go together – the two of us in NYC …. look the fuck out! The talks and shit, skip it. I want liquor and I want swag……… and now thanks to you…….. I want pancakes too.
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by ThePeachy1 and Holly , ThePeachy1. ThePeachy1 said: Todays post. I want swag. I sold my soul. How to make it all better. A blog of pancakes and envy http://bit.ly/azGkgx […]
Yeah, I like swag too. And I have no luck at contests (meanwhile my best friend wins copious amounts of stuff). I’m so crashing BlogHer next year.
Man those are some pretty sweet pancakes.
[…] Saturday I shared with you that I felt dirty and like a twitter hashtag hussie, shameless and […]