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that’s what he said.. Jokes from my Daddy Day

Posted on May 25, 2011 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy, Latest, The Peachy Tree - 9 Comments
jokes from my daddy

If you are a follower chances are you have been privy to my secret WMD (Wonderful Mulit- forwarding Daddy).. My daddy is 79, he is awesome. Some technology may elude him but there is one thing this man has mastered. He can forward 278.5 emails to all 822 people in his contact list 10+ times a day. His priceless passing on of humor from his veteran buddies, former county co workers and anyone he has ever met at a gas station in any state. Because if you meet him and your not a total asshat you are GETTING ON HIS EMAIL LIST.

OH you might notice over there on the left   <-  the zebra skin purse under Jenny’s floating head? If you have time after you read this click it, it’s really not actually about purses. It’s a plot a ploy a plan.   But for now just kick back and read this joke from my Daddy.  I wont be moving Jenny’s floating head or that zebra purse.

ENJOY !

******************************************

Daddy sent me this email saying these were answers from High School kids on tests.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. Difference between H2O and CO2.

A. H2O is hot water. CO2 is cold water.

Q. What to do for a nose bleed?

A. Put nose lower than body until the heart stops.

Q. Define equator.

A. A maginary lion running around the Earth through Africa.

Q. How do you remove dust from your eye?

A. Pull your eye down over your nose.

Q. How do you prevent contraception?

A. Use a condominium.

So yeah,  go ahead and see if you can prepay for a private room at a really nice nursing home now, and make sure to bring your own condominiums.

Happy Dry hump day y’all.

XO


PEACH OUT

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being peachy, Brendan Fraser wants me, condominmiums, CONDOMS, epic asshattedness, funny, humor, humor blog, jokes from my daddy, kevin bacon, kids, peachy, purse and boots, relationships, teachers, test answers, the Peachy1, wtf wednesday

9 comments on “that’s what he said.. Jokes from my Daddy Day”

  1. Nicole, the queen of this life says:
    May 25, 2011 at 8:25 am

    I think I love your dad.

  2. Oilfield Trash says:
    May 25, 2011 at 9:26 am

    Your dads jokes are hilarious. I think I need to get in on his email list.

  3. ThePeachy1 says:
    May 25, 2011 at 9:53 am

    I can make that happen, but it’s like becoming a Knights Templar, there is no turning back once you enter the sacred realm.

  4. The Animated Woman says:
    May 25, 2011 at 10:34 am

    Your dad’s latest collection made me pee my pants laughing and I’m not even dressed yet. I guess that means I am intercontinental, huh?

  5. Brandon says:
    May 25, 2011 at 11:11 am

    These are from high school kids, people…

    The same people answering these questions are experimenting with sex. Isn’t that a scary fact?

  6. Chunky Mama says:
    May 25, 2011 at 11:19 am

    Love your Daddy!! 🙂

  7. JennyBean says:
    May 25, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    Love, love, love your daddy!

  8. pattypunker says:
    May 25, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    hilarious!

  9. The Animated Woman says:
    May 26, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Hey…that last one is like a trick question hahaha!

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