Woo Hoo ! I am back. Back from my kick butt Winter Vacation. That’s right, I asked my boss if I could have the same vacation as my kid and husband and what do ya know? I said YES ! I have enjoyed it but worry that one of 2 things could have happened. 1- I got so rusty I forgot how to post or 2- I will come at it with an entirely new angle and just blow the bloggiverse out of the water ! ( or fizzle out like a wet pop bottle rocket).
I didn’t make anyone suffer with extensive Christmas Posts or a 2010 wrap up or even a New Years Resolution prophetic post. In stead I enjoyed 3 separate yet sometimes over lapping waves of guests. T’was simply amazing. But it’s Monday, so you know I gotta throw you a Moronic Monday story from the Holidays.
I am sorry for all of you who had to wake up to that wretched beast of an alarm clock for the first time in not nearly enough days. I am sorry for anyone who stepped into their work clothes for the first time in days and found out they had shrunken and now you have to safety pin the button on your shirt for work today. So in good old 3rd grade fashion here is a story of how I spent my Winter Vacation like a Moron and epic asshat via interpretive song and dance.
Here’s the story of a chick named Peachy
Who was living in the middle of the woods.
All of them her acres were all grass
So this one day this Peachy wanted PoBoys
But The Peachy would not get out of her pajamas
She was happy and excited as she headed from the car back to her house.
She had found the only piece of concrete and she crumbled and fell into a bunch.
(This part doesn’t fit in the song but must be sung in 1 breath )
Though her friend was on her couch and her husband in the house, they left ThePeachy dying on the ground, just 2 feet from the door, if it wasn’t for the 3 kids all under 9 that saved her, she would be buzzard food, instead of just sore and bruised.
and also the po boys were not injured and everyone ate theirs without any remorse of ThePeachy1’s injuries and near death concrete break falling experience.
now if you can just fathom a mashup of Brady Bunch and I’m too sexy for this bruise, then you can join me in my Moronic Monday.
* Many Thanks to The Munchkin, The Prince, and the Nearly My kid for rescuing me, my phone, my glasses, my purse, my sock, and of course, The PO BOYS !
No pride was injured during the making of this post since I lost that years ago during childbirth.