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Happy Dry Hump Day

Posted on October 20, 2010 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy - 4 Comments

It’s Wednesday people,  or as I call it, Dry Hump Day.  So here’s a little racey humor sent to me in emails.  The one today was sent in by Jeff A.  Thanks for the funny Jeff.

A guy is  browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting  on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, ‘Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?’

The parrot  says, ‘I was born this way. I’m a  defective parrot.’

‘Holy crap,’  the guy replies. ‘You actually understood and  answered me!’

‘I got every  word,’ says the parrot. ‘I happen to be a highly  intelligent thoroughly educated bird’

‘Oh yeah?’  the guy asks, ‘Then answer this — how do you hang  onto your perch without any feet?’

‘Well,’ the  parrot says, ‘this is very embarrassing but since  you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar  like a little hook. You can’t see it because of my  feathers.’

‘Wow,’ says  the guy. ‘You really can understand and speak English can’t you?’

‘Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I’m especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I’d be a great companion.’

The guy  looks at the $200.00 price tag…. ‘Sorry, but I  just can’t afford that.’

‘Pssssssst,’  says the parrot, ‘I’m defective, so the truth is,  nobody wants me cause I don’t have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!’

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by.  The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he’s interesting, he’s a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he’s insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, ‘Psssssssssssst,’ and motions him over with one  wing. ‘I don’t know if I should tell you this or not, but it’s about your wife and the UPS man..’

‘What are you talking about?’ asks the guy.

‘When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife  greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.’

‘WHAT???’  the guy asks incredulously. ‘THEN what  happened?’

‘Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,’ reported  the parrot.

‘NO!’ he  exclaims. ‘And she let him?’

‘Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over….’

Then the frantic guy demands, ‘THEN WHAT  HAPPENED?’

‘Damned if I know. I  fell off my perch!’


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being peachy, cheating wife, defective parrot, Dry Hump Day, email jokes, thepeachy1

4 comments on “Happy Dry Hump Day”

  1. Justin says:
    October 20, 2010 at 9:03 am

    OMG that is hilarious.

  2. DemonCry says:
    October 20, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    LOL and that my fine feathered friend is why it’s called dry hump day. LOL

  3. ThePeachy1 says:
    October 20, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    @ Justin- yeah I thought it was a funny one. @ Demon Cry- dry hump day, a new level !

  4. Unknown Mami says:
    October 21, 2010 at 4:08 pm

    Wait, I don’t get it. Just kidding…very funny.

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