Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness” NOT MAKING THIS UP. Google it. (now I rank for “robin willimas man junk” I am so proud.) Yes you can sit at my table during lunch, because I love you.
So if you send in your question, which you’re totally welcome to do, to firstname.lastname@example.org, PULEEZE for the love of baby cheeses know that your advice is coming from someone who is known for “epic asshattedness”
I have been married for 3 years and I am wondering if I made the right choice. My husband drives me insane, I think it’s often on purpose. He does all the stereotypes; leaves the seat up, cap off the toothpaste, forgets the trash. Plus our sex life is tapering off to non existence while his addiction to sports make him boring. I try not to nag and complain but it sure seems like I am just a cooking-maid-sex robot.
Dear Sex Robot- first THANK YOU because the name sex robot will probably bring me boat loads of creepy pervs searching on that term, and what if they land on the Robin Williams man junk too? Double cool beans. What was your question. Oh yeah. The answer is marriage. Remember all the hard work and planning and dedication you had to go through to get the wedding together? That was 1 day, a marriage is work, compromise and growth everyday. I didn’t hear drinking any, beating, gambling, freeloading and cheating so it’s hard to say your dude sucks. Nagging will only put you in the Nag zone, I suggest skipping it and going straight to SUPER FREAK ( sex robot) don’t nag. just do things like epoxy the toilet seat down, but deal with the dribble ( your call which is worse?) . Putting the trash on his car as a gentle reminder, and as far as the sex, darling it takes 2 to tango so if your sex life is boring then y’all need to work that out on your own, talk, act, spice, whatever it’s your sexy robot time. You could indeed dress up like a sex robot. DSTSS. That’s Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. xo- ThePeachy1
So what’s your deal? I can’t get a read on you. You bring the funny, make light of stuff and when you write serious ( even though you can’t spell) it’s pretty good. I saw you had a post about treating others how you want to be treated, but I see you post things that make you look like a backwoods Republican Idiot. So are you for or against stupid people. The haters shallow minded idiots who throw religion up as an excuse to block others from being happy. The racist hillbilly bigots too dumb to even know it’s 2010 not 1910. Where do you fall on it all? I’m guessing you wont have the balls to even answer this.
Dear Upfront – I didn’t see anywhere that you asked for advice. But I have some from you anyway. You might want to get laid ( it helps with the pissy mood). I do live in the south. It’s 2010 for sure, we are getting indoor plumbing soon. But you are right, I don’t have balls. But I will use My husbands, my brothers, my cousins, my nephews, my fathers, my grandfathers and my great great great Grandfathers balls to let you know my family fought for your right to be an idiot in this great Country if you so chose. My Grandmother used to say, “If you can’t be nice at least be vague”. That sure is a pretty dress. xo- ThePeachy1
Dear The Peachy 1,
My best bud is my 11 year old pup named Napleon. He’s a french bulldog and awesome. But he has been licking his ass non stop for 3 weeks. I took him to the vet because I was freaked out. I mean it’s not his “jewels” it’s his ass. Who needs to lick their ass that much? The vet wants to do some butt procedure but I am thinking something could have caused this. Help me.
Anti Ass Licker
Dear Anti Ass Licker- OMG between you and Sex Robot I can only assume I will be pounded ( pun fully intended) by all kinds of sickos, pervs and spam. Awesome ! Ok I can actually help you with this. Has your dog been forced to watch the View, been audited by the IRS or eaten a lawyer lately? These things would make him lick his ass to get the bad taste out. xo- ThePeachy1
That’s it my lovelies.. Take care and feel free to send in any questions you might need non advice for. The general rule is 3 a week every Tuesday. BEINGPEACHY@GMAIL.COM