If you are a follower chances are you have been privy to my secret WMD ( Wonderful Mulit- forwarding Daddy).. My daddy is 79, he is awesome. Some technology may elude him but there is one thing this man has mastered. He can forward 278.5 emails to all 822 people in his contact list 10+ times a day. With my dad you are guaranteed to get a couple military support videos/emails, the standard ankle slashing, credit card stealing work at home emails, the completely NON PC jokes and stories and then if you survive you get the gold. His priceless passing on of humor from his veteran buddies, former county co workers and anyone he has ever met at a gas station in any state. Because if you meet him and your not a total asshat you are GETTING ON HIS EMAIL LIST.
Daddy is not feeling so spiffy this week, I have hardly any emails I can post here without getting a ton of emails/comments from offended people. Sorry but my Daddy is full of awesome, even if he is old school and I will love him till the day they cremate me in an easy bake oven and no amount of horribly offensive forwarded email jokes will EVER stop that, but I will spare you in case you are easily offended and had your humor bone surgically removed. So here’s what I ended up with.
This post is even funnier when you know we live in the deep south, and he picked cotton and worked in a peanut factory until he joined the military at the ripe old age of 15 to run off and fight in some wars to give us all the rights to be idiots when we chose. So here ya go, get your laugh on via my Daddy.
A Redneck passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow . . . but she can’t touch it ’till she’s 14.
How do you know when you’re staying in a Redneck motel?
When you call the front desk and say, ” I gotta leak in my sink, and the clerk replies ……”Go ahead.”
Two reasons why it’s so hard to solve a Redneck murder:
1) The DNA is all the same
2) There are no dental records
A new Redneck law was just recently passed
When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
and for the Holidays-
Also for your Holiday pleasure I offer you a link to a website he sent me a “underlined movie thing” of Carolling childrens thumbs via my Daddy. he said, ” wow, these kids are ugly but they know some Christmas songs”
Totally trying to get in the spirit here. Go out and make someone smile today.
When starter husband and I first got married we lived out in the sticks. The neighbor behind us had a school bus shelter just like the one in your picture.. I shit you not. He also collected guns and survival gear. Welcome to central Fl!!!
Hey now! I want that swing!
And though I am loathe to admit it, my grandfather had a school bus – with no wheels or engine – parked behind our trailer (yes, I said trailer) that he used as a “storage building.”
I have to go now, I think my coon is showing.
Holly your swamp is hanging out, Rabbit your coon is showing. As for me, it’s really clear that there is no hope I am the ONLY one still living in the deep south, you guys moved on and northerly to what I assume will be white fluffy stuff that makes people act cRAZY. no not coke, geesh I think they call it show or snot .. wait, SNOW?
Daddy jokes FTW!
he is to be most awesome..
The school bus is hilarious. Only in the South.
I must be further south, because you can’t even bury a neighbor,( I mean hamster). HAMSTER without hitting the water table. even pools and caskets float up.
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Okay, the Red Punch Bug Sleigh is amazing, but the singing mouth thing will keep me awake tonight.
Peachy, I was thinking the same thing. If I dig 2 inches down, we’ve hit water. Which was AWESOME as a kid! Then again, I’m actually at sea level right now. You’re below it, I’m sure.