Here I am 50+ hours into what will surely go down in the journals of history as
“The Great Peachy Plague of 2010”
(Yes it had to be bold and italicized and in color because it is THAT serious people.)
Also it is now the lovely color of the medicine of which I have been taking like candy. Nyquil. I like my Nyquil in the little liquid caps.
I am not narrow minded and coming from a military upbringing I understand the need to flank your enemy. Using all my massive knowledge of successful battles I always opt to attack on 3 fronts.
1- The infantry- Medicine you buy at the store – aka Nyquil
2-Tanks- Wash back all medicine with frequent Hot Toddies- it’s what our parents used before Nyquil was invented. So if you are alive, someone in your ancestry used this method to survive and it worked so I am keeping it. ( also how friggin creepy would it be if you were reading this and you weren’t alive? I mean ewe, I would totally whack you in the head with a shovel if I had the strength.)
3- Air STrike- No holds barred cure all of anything- Matzo Ball Soup. ( I lovingly thank my Jew buds for teaching me appropriately how to make this in such a fashion that Pfizer and Biotech constantly try to buy it off me. This stuff can literally cure anything from a broken heart to a broken bone.
am totally drugged up whack out of my brain and seeing Caterpillar morph into butterflies want you to understand this strategic genius, I asked WikiLinks to give me my Top Secret Battle Plan Graphic to share on my blog. Here it is. Revel in the attack plan people. Revel.
As you can clearly see, I aint playing around with this stuff people. You don’t come into my house and pick a fight, I don’t lose in my HOUSE. ( I am sure this was on some sports movie I watched at some point)
So deep into the middle of battle and my search for WMD ( Whimpy Medical Disease), my massive attack hit a bump in the road when after chugging back a handful of Nyquil caplets with My Hot Toddie I noticed this through my bloodshot half closed eyes.
So I guess I am submitting a new slogan to Nyquil-
“The night-time sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so- you-can-rest-in-peace-with liver damage medicine.
I bet the liver transplant list is owned and managed by Nyquil. Nicely played Nyquil. You are probably smuggling stuff to the enemy so I will keep thinking your an ally.
I have to go now, have to get this sent to Nyquil so they can hopefully compensate me for my brilliance prior to Christmas Eve so I don’t have shop in a Rite Aid at 11pm ( again).