Hello my lovelies. For weeks my friend Rachel over at http://therachelchron.blogspot.com/ has been throwing around her college education and offering up advice in my comments section and her advice is just so good I offered her a chance to have her very own Tell it Tuesday post. ( plus she represented my dumb cat in a slander law suit where I was the defendant and needless to say she hung me out to dry and this is part of the settlement.) So here’s Rachel !
Hello, Dear Readers. Rachel here. I’m guesting for Peachy today because she knows how much I love to stick my nose into other people’s business. You can usually find me over at The Rachel Chronicles: The True and (Un)Amazing Adventures of a Girl and her Dog, where I write about things like my ongoing war with Redbox (Rachel = 6 free rentals & counting + 1 free copy of Paranormal Activity, Redbox = 0 – suck it Redbox!) and my obsession with all things food related. Because I’m self-centered enough to think that people actually want to read about my life.
So I guess this is the part where I give you the disclaimers. You should know, my life is total crap lately, so it’s not like I have any business giving anyone advice. I certainly wouldn’t take my advice. My only real qualification for offering any advice is that I’m known far and wide for being a smartass. So if you want “real” advice, Dr. Phil should be on in a few hours.
If you’re still with me, let’s get this party started…
I see you make fun of yourself all the time, I am so jealous. I constantly worry people will laugh at me or think I am an idiot but you put it out there for the world to see. Have you always been this brave or do you have a guide to help me be ok with being me?
First of all, I feel like a total fraud. Obviously, I’m not the Peachy. Although, I think you just called Peachy an idiot and told her people laugh about her behind her back. Except me. I laugh at her to her face. Or at least I would if I had ever actually met her. As it is, I laugh at her through cyber space.
Anyway, when I was a little Rachel, I was quite shy. As in, wouldn’t say boo to my own shadow shy. I always worried about fitting in. This continued into high school. Because as we all know, school is all about fitting in. Then I started college in a hippy town where everyone was all about being a free spirit, and I finally figured out who I really was. And I stopped caring what other people thought about me. By the time I made it to law school, I was serenading strangers in packed bars because my new friends bet me $100 that I wouldn’t belt out “Tomorrow” at the top of my lungs. They learned real quick that I’ll do or say pretty much anything.
You may be asking yourself what my effing point is. Well, here it is: Who the hell cares if people laugh at you. As long as you’re happy, screw everyone else. Life’s way more fun when you’re not constantly worrying that people are analyzing you’re every freaking move. So fly your freak flag!!
And if you really can’t let go of your inhibitions, try liquor.
Sweet Peaches- I am super pissed off that Pluto is no longer a planet. Really? It was when I was a kid, plus 2+3=5 now it’s like x3 or some shit. When will they stop screwing with education and teach kid practical stuff, also can you help me get Pluto recognized and reinstated as a planet?
Nearly Bill Nye
Dear Nearly Bill Bye,
I know!! WTH is UP with that?!?! It’s been a planet for like freaking ever, and now all of a sudden it’s not? You can’t just say a planet’s not a planet anymore! I mean what about pneunmonic devices? My very energetic mother just served us nine … what??? She just served us nine? What the hell is a nine? And why did she serve it to us? OMG I’m so confused. And did you know there’s a new ocean?! Yeah. Really. There’s now a Southern Ocean. It’s around Antarctica. I mean seriously?? If you’re going to just create a new ocean you could at least do better than Southern Ocean. Who comes up with this shit? Was the Antarctic Ocean taken?
No worries Nearly Bill Bye. I will not let this sacrilege go unanswered. I know a guy at NASA. He’s kind of a big deal. Really. He told me so. Anyway, I’m on it. We will GET THIS FIXED .
Now if only I knew someone at the National Oceanographic Institute…
Peachy, if you had to pick between being a zombie or being a unicorn which would you pick and why? Don’t think I am weird this is actually part of a school assignment. Plus I am a little weird.
Bloggess is that you?? I already weighed in on the whole zombie versus unicorn debate on your Neil Gaiman post (http://thebloggess.com/?p=8890). You’re just looking for someone to back your zombie wins all argument. I think what you failed to consider are zombie unicorns. Viruses are effing smart. Do you really think the zombie virus wouldn’t adapt to infect our equine friends? I mean, shit, if I can catch bird flu and swine flu, a unicorn can most definitely be infected by a zombie virus. Therefore your question is moot. In the event of zombie outbreak, all unicorns will eventually become zombies.
Thanks Rachel I hope you enjoyed it. I know it’s one of my favorite days of the week posts.
HOLY FUCK since when is there a new OCEAN?!
oh! I know someone who does oceanographic mapping… for NASA actually… so we might could kill two birds with one stone.
DUDE… SOUTHERN OCEAN? wtf?
A new ocean?!? When did that shit happen? Sheesh, and I was just in a science class and they did not mention this shit. I have a hard enough time keeping all the old oceans straight. Although I am constantly correcting people about the Gulf of Mexico. Mainly cause I used to live on that bitch. People call it an ocean and I am all like, no dude it is a gulf. Seriously, it is not the ocean of Mexico, unless they changed that on me too… I have a headache and need to lay down now….
I know, ladies. I was sitting around with a group of friends (all of them parents), talking about how much has changed since we were in school, and someone mentioned the new ocean. I immediately called shenanigans because as we all know, such a thing is completely ridiculous. But then we turned to the all-knowing google, and this scientific travesty of epic proportions was confirmed.
P.S. Peach, love, love, love the pic!
Actually….unicorns are immune from zombie outbreaks. They keep an antidote in their horns and stab each other when they start to get infected. NO fools, this doesn’t mean that unicorns can fight the zombie out break in humans….The antidote only works on unicorns…however, much like sharks, i feel we should capture all the unicorns, put them in captivity and preform gross experiments leading up to a discovery of a cure for zombisim….but thats another story. The point is, the argument is still valid and that zombies, can indeed, ravenously consume magical horse meat. Yum. Zombies rule. That is all.
there are not proper words in the english language to describe how hard I laugh at you guys and love you. seriously.
I refuse to denounce Pluto’s non planetness AND I will not believe in another ocean…… the unicorns told me it wasn’t true!
I am seriously waiting for some cockbrained scientist to determine the earth is flat, dogs use telekinesis to rule the human race and review the Louisiana purchase and declare it unsound there by erasing history and changing the future. Also Up is Down
[…] ** Special Shout out to Rachel for the Guest Post last week on the advice*** […]