Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness” NOT MAKING THIS UP. Google it. (now I rank for “robin willimas man junk” I am so proud.) Yes you can sit at my table during lunch, because I love you.
So if you send in your question, which you’re totally welcome to do, to firstname.lastname@example.org, PULEEZE for the love of baby cheeses know that your advice is coming from someone who is known for “epic asshattedness
Dear Being Peachy;
I went to church yesterday and I’m not sure it’s the right place for me. Everyone was really nice and everything but it felt weird. I mean, they didn’t talk about rapture or hell, fire OR brimstone. There was no talk about being a submissive wife to my husband and there were no snakes in the cafetorium where we met. Is this a real church or did I go to some sort of weird brainwashing cult?
Dear Cafatorium Cults- I am probably not the person to go to for religious advice. However let me clear up a couple things. A church ( even those in cafatoriums or gymterias ) should make you feel good, want to come back, have an overwhelming awesome feeling. I have to give them bonus points for not throwing rapture, woman duties or snakes at you. This leads me to believe that even if they are a cult they are not the kind that will marry off kids at 11 years old. I could be wrong. Since it was in a cafatorium did they at least serve food? Did they use the bible or a menu? My theology is rusty but doesn’t worship/church consist of more than 1 person being together in the name of God? Or something like that, which I guess makes it a church, but the cafatorium thing? Is it even legal to have church on school property? Good luck- xo ThePeachy1
Dearest ThePeachy1- I have a dilemma I have been dating this super great, wonderful, brilliant, hard working considerate romantic guy. He’s handsome and honestly the best guy I have ever met. The problem is in the bedroom. He is “lacking” in the man junk department and then he is not that great with using what he has. I care a lot about him, and if that one area was fixed I could honestly see spending the rest of my life with him. What do I do?
Size Does Matter
Dear Size Does Matter- wow. well the guy sounds awesome all the way around except in his crotch. So I wonder if he excels in all those other things in spite of or because of the “size issue”. Either way let me just explain this. There is a helluva lot more to sexy time than size. Indeed you can ” spiff” up your lady cave with Kegels thus helping make the size issues somewhat lessor. There is little he can do other than trying some of the spam I get daily for ” changing sizes”. Which probably wont work or he would grow a Unicorn horn on his forehead. Healthy sex is an important part of any relationship ( in the beginning) I added the ( in the beginning) because trust me my dear it will become extremely less important in your life as you get older, and the friendship, romance, compatibility will take presidence. But if you;re the raging whore who would cheat on him because of his winky size, I ask you quietly move on and away prior to damaging one of the rare good guys out there. xo-ThePeachy
I am so sick of everyone complaining and whining on Facebook, twitter and blogs. I want to choke them through my computer screen. Everyone is so busy complaining no one lives and enjoys life. Where do they find the time to sit on the internet all day and moan?
Dear Over It- You do realize that you read my blog and sent in a question via email? Where do you find time to rant about people complaining. Probably the same place as the others. But honestly I do know how you feel but recently I discovered the solution. There’s a super secret X in the upper right hand corner of everything you do. If you see stuff that drives you nuts, you can hit that little X and BAM they are gone. Or if you want to practice what you preach ( or what is making you sick) You can simply not log on to blogs or facebook, and go out and live your life. xo – ThePeachy1
That’s it my lovelies.. Take care and feel free to send in any questions you might need non advice for. The general rule is 3 a week every Tuesday. BEINGPEACHY@GMAIL.COM