Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness” NOT MAKING THIS UP. Google it. (now I rank for “robin willimas man junk” I am so proud.) Yes you can sit at my table during lunch, because I love you.
So if you send in your question, which you’re totally welcome to do, to beingpeachy@gmail.com, PULEEZE for the love of baby cheeses know that your advice is coming from someone who is known for “epic asshattedness”.
Dear Peachy;
My neighbor is seriously pissing me off. We don’t have a fence but we both know our property lines however every time they cut their grass they go 2 trips into our yard. I have no clue how to handle this but I am ready to just pull my hair out over this. It needs to stop.
signed,
Mowed Down
Dear Mowed Down- You need bigger problems. If you are writing me over your grass being cut by your neighbor and that’s not a euphemism for a drug deal gone bad then you should really just go ahead and stand there pulling your hair out in your yard for the world to see because obviously your life is HELL. WTF is that horrible neighbor thinking . Peachy
Dear ThePeachy1,
I have been wrangled into the the schools PTO again this year. So I am stuck selling cookies and wrapping paper and doing fund raisers. I hate it. So many mom’s escape this wrath and I always get suckered in. How can I avoid this in the future I hate it and hate these moms.
PTO Party Pooper
Dear PTO Party Pooper- First, you probably made the mistake of telling them you are a SAHM, wore clothes, shoes, makeup and a bra to school. Then you signed something. Also showing up to school sober is a big mistake. I find if you yell stuff like ” y’all I can do some early mornings cause I don’t go to sleep right after I get off shift at the strip club” followed by ” Hey Jimmy and Bobby, tell your Momma your Daddy left his cell phone at my work” this should get you out of PTO, if not, offer a “strip off” fund raiser. xo ThePeachy1
Peaches
My life is upside down I can’t catch a break. I just found out we are moving from a metro to a very rural area. We are childless and in our late 30’s. Nothing country appeals to me. I am sure I will die.
signed,
City Girl
Dear City Girl- yes you will die. We are all going to die. Since you are moving to the rural world it may go faster or slower depending on your attitude and lifestyle. Go ahead and stock up on the alcohol. You don’t have kids so plan a lot of city vacations and get aways while enjoying a crime free quite rural country lifestyle . Also don’t deep fry your hand. It sucks. xo ThePeachy1
That’s it my lovelies.. Take care and feel free to send in any questions you might need non advice for. The general rule is 3 a week every Tuesday. BEINGPEACHY@GMAIL.COM
xo
PEACH O
Dear Mowed Down, are you freaking kidding me?! I love it when my neighbors mow across the property line! Less for me to mow! Not that I mow anyway mind you. But if I did, there would be less for me to mow!
I agree with Rachel, it is less to mow. Hell see if you can get them to mow the whole yard.
I agree with Rachel and Justin, neighbors who cut grass are good.
PTO Party Pooper – OMG Peachy.. that advice made me laugh and snort!!! Too true.
Sheesh, it is an issue if your neighbors mow your yard? Where do you live and what planet are you from?!?! As for the PTO mom, when asked say “no”. Simple. If they ask why, say that you are busy. City Girl- um, deal with it. Here is the question, why were you not consulted about this move? Did your husband know that you would irrationally freak out over the move and decide for you? Maybe that is a clue.
@ Holly- glad you got a snort out girl. Loved seeing Pam pop back up today.
@ Tawnya- I couldn’t figure out the Mowing the yard freak out issue either, to me that’s like BONUS ! and thank you neighbor less work for me.
Well done. For someone with no expertise, you always do such a great job at this. I especially agree with the first one. That guy is just being miserable for no reason. He should probably bake his neighbors a pie and deliver it with a note that says, “Thanks for mowing part of our yard. Less for me to do!”
Thanks for stopping by Leslie. I agree, I find people without problems tend to create them if I could move between 2 neighbors that would each cut a little over I would be ecstatic !