Wow it’s here, and although I wait for it with antica antica antica—-pation every week, I have had a couple run in’s with a Monday disguised on the calendar as a Friday. Nothing pisses me off worse. So dearest Friday be good to me honey, or I will shank you and hook up with Saturday.
I have very important news last night I was yet again attacked. No it was not by a Star Fleet Captain in a Speedo or by Robin Williams Man junk, this as an actual attack. The suspect is my spa tub, and it’s a damn good thing I wasn’t eating shredded mini wheats when it happened. I will tell you all about it on Monday but for now it’s just known as the great Elephant Poop Comforter incident of 2010.
But today I awoke to receive a package. A product for me to review.
When this happens I always have 1 of 2 reactions. 1- “WOO HOO Lucky me, heck yeaz !! Woot Woot.” or 2- “Great, like I am ever going to try this let alone freaking write a review. ”
But not today folks. I got this
This can only mean 1 of 3 things. 1- My husband is sending companies my info and out of pity for him, they are sending me ruffies and lube? or 2- They know I will totally use this stuff on squeaky door hinges.
3- It’s flinging oatmeal on a wall again. This one, might actually get a review, because it’s personal lube, so that means I can use it how I want, personally. Like whip it out in the grocery store when I get that wheel that is squeaky. The stadium seat at homecoming, just whip that out and apply it to those hinges and KABAM, donkey slider to the rescue, a nice breeze could now open that stadium seat. Walking into jewelry stores trying on obscenely expensive rings 2 sizes too small just so I can whip this stuff out and say, “don’t worry about I have MY personal lube.”
So yeah people I will be lubing up all kinds of stuff this weekend. Because I now have my own personal 55 gallon drum size non descriptive labeled DONKEY SLIDER lube.
Have a great weekend my friends. Life’s short, live it, love it, lube it.
*Delusion Disclaimer- I did actually receive a sample product in the mail that was indeed a personal lube, it is not a 55 gallon drum nor is it named Donkey Slider. No I wasn’t paid for this, because clearly if I were paid for it, I would have used the real name, done a real journalist review and it wouldn’t be on this blog it would be totally somewhere else.*