An open letter to marketing people.
Dear Marketing People,
Hi thanks so much for contacting me via email and more recently by phone. I really do appreciate the fact that you somehow found little old me in this great big world. I would say it was destiny but chances are you already hit up about a couple thousand bloggers in the hopes that at least 1/2 would be interested. That makes it a lot less like destiny and a heck of a lot more like flinging shit on a wall and seeing what sticks.
Here’s the issue. I would really love a great sponsor ( or even 5) but the truth behind it all is, I write for me. I write for the people who enjoy what I write. I probably don’t fit in any of your categories, or niche markets of “mommy blogger”, or “political blogger” or anything other than just me, making it through this awesome crazy ride called life and laughing every chance I get.
One example would be when you asked me to add a recipe forum, so I could “conveniently” publish your pre written content and slap it up there with my name behind it. I am really not that blogger, there are obviously boatloads out there that will, but this is not the blog your looking for. Also no need to hit me up with the offer of diaper coupons for my readers. The issue is. My oldest kid is 21 and in college and my youngest is only 9 but thanks to my awesome parenting skill he has been out of diapers for quite some time. In fact the reality of it all is I will probably need adult diapers before I need a baby diaper again.
I do however applaud the tenacity of the gentleman named “Rick” who called me over 8 times and then sent twice as many emails stating he was trying to reach me. Once I finally did speak to Rick I thought it was so awesome how he thought I would be somehow honored that 4 of my sites had been chosen but he had to exclude 2, and so delicately offered that if I would consider changing my topics on the others that he would review them again. I was so impressed with the way he spoke to me. Almost like he was doing me a favor. Unfortunately for Rick, it reminded me of that cocky guy in a bar who thinks he will rock your world so hard but you know you would rather kneel on raw rice and lick a razor blade then be with him. That guy always finds the girls that aren’t quite complete, that feel they should give it away in the hopes they will be found worthy.
Rick, dude, I am so not that girl honey.
Do not get me wrong. If I like a product or a service I will write in my own words about it, whether there is compensation or not and I will fully disclose that fact. Sadly I also do this weird thing called truth. I know it’s a pretty foreign concept but here’s how it works for me.
A famous TV personality ( or probably their marketing team) sent me some dog food to ” try”. Since I don’t eat dog food ( yet) I offered it to my dogs. Downside my dogs do not type. So I took pictures of them in what appeared to be a torture session of me trying to make them eat this dog food. They refused. I wrote about it. Blaming my dogs and their obvious lack of taste and class rather than your product. Everyone got it. Not everyone liked it, especially the people that sent me the dog food that I didn’t ask for anyway.
If you actually read my blog, and understand it, then by all means lets open up a discussion regarding a marketing agreement. But please be advised that even though the economy is shit, and I could really use the bucks or product I am not that chick in high school who will bang you in the back seat because I am so empty without you.
I have a worth. More over, my readers have a worth, so I am not going to push crap product or crap sponsors on them.
Yes I have some google ads on my site, but only a cave dwelling butt monkey would confuse those with my writing, ( ** sidenote** To the 3 people that clicked on those ads in the past 5 months THANKS I am nearing enough to purchase a pack of bubble gum I have been coveting! )
I am not the most famous blogger on the web far from it darling, probably not even in the top 3,500, it’s worse than that, I am the poor chick thats standing in the corner cuddling her integrity and telling the cocky dude to move along. I am sure you can find other girls willing to pimp your stuff at any cost including their own pride, famous or non famous. They can do that, it’s their name and their blog that makes it their chocie. As for me, I am ok with who I am and what I write.
PS- not even my husband gets to put words in my mouth.