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The Goat in the Shower

Posted on July 21, 2010 by ThePeachy1 in It's Juicy - 11 Comments

On Monday I gave you guys some random topics and by popular vote I am to tell you the goat in the shower incident.

I will tell it through interpretive dance.  Fortunately you can’t see me doing the interpretive dance so I guess crappy artwork will have to do the trick.

Follow these instructions and you too can have a goat in the shower.

1- Be a divorced mom of 2 little kids under 5 and decide to buy land and move to the country in the woods.

overgrown yard with very high grass

my yard was like this but without the castle in the background

2- Have your kids bug you every waking second about wanting a pet, a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a hamster, a horse, a pony, a pig, a duck,  a freaking anything.

kids nagging and screaming and whining for a goat

psychological warfare. They used it.

3- Come up with a brilliant plan to buy a pet that will help serve a purpose.  Yes no more cutting the waist high wild grass if you buy a pet that will eat it.

a brilliant idea light bulb

I iz a GENIUS !!!

4- Buy a baby goat and a red dog harness and a bell and tie it in the yard on Christmas morning put a note under the tree telling the kids the goat is Rudolphs best friend and he has come to live with you and they better take good care of him.

a black and white goat

This is a goat.

5- Kids can not properly identify goat and scream, SKUNK !!!!

skunk

This is not a goat, this is a Skunk.

6-The children will run at the tied up goat full speed. The goat will then attempt to run away from screaming children thus hitting the end of his rope and back flipping into chasing children ending with all of them in a pile of upset in the yard on Christmas morning.

huge cloud of smoke when my kids and goat collided

when they all hit each other it kind of looked like this.

7- A month later you will figure out that your particular goat will eat NOTHING but table scraps and gourmet dog food.  He will not eat grass, weeds, or anything and has in turn become yet another mouth to feed.

** BONUS FUN FACT***  A goats ass is like an auto pez dispenser, Every time they take a step poop pellets pour out.

pez dispensers shoot out candy

this is good. the goat butt is not good. do not eat goat pez.

8- Your goat thinks he is part of the family, and follows you to the mail box, goes on car rides  and plays tag with the kids.

9- Being a single lady in the country you totally want the name, ” Goat Lady” to be forever attached to you.

sandi thepeachy1 holding a goat

" hey goat lady, you sure do got a purdy mouth"

10- Further propelling you into the desirable woman category you goat head buts any guy who pulls into your yard and chases them back to their car.

11- Wake up one morning and find goat in bed with your kids. Throw the goat out of the house clean up his pez poop and scold children while they scream how they didn’t do it.

12-  Jump in your shower and soap up your hair, feel the curtain touching your legs and get soap in your eyes, be sure it’s one of the kids harassing you as usual.  wash out eyes and see it is A KID. THE GOAT !  The damn goat has climbed into the shower with you and is standing next to you and licking the water off your leg taking this entire pet thing to a creepy new level.

13- SCREAM

14- Fall on slippery wet floor and bust your ass trying to get away from the goat.

15- Run naked except for the washcloth to the front door and attempt to push the wet goat out of your house.

16- wave back at the neighbors honking and waving as they drive by and see the wet goat and naked wet you in epic battle that could only be viewed as questionable.

17- Find out that your goat has figured out how to open the door by standing on his hind legs and hitting the door latch.

The goat went to live on a farm like all animals do once they have worn out their welcome.

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goat, goat in shower, naked, neighbors, screaming kids, shower, wet

11 comments on “The Goat in the Shower”

  1. jeff alter says:
    July 21, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    great goat story….get a dog…

    wait…didnt you??

  2. ThePeachy1 says:
    July 21, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    yep.. many pets have came and went since the goat. This story is about 17 years old.

  3. Holly B says:
    July 21, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Wearing nothing but a washcloth!! LMAO!!! I have a cat that now still comes into the shower with me…. not sensational!

  4. ThePeachy1 says:
    July 21, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    I don’t think I need to add that the washcloth covered virtually nothing except maybe my belly button as I was wrestling the goat out of the front door.

  5. FabuLeslie says:
    July 21, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    Oh, what a delightful story. I’m gonna start following the steps tomorrow. Do you have chickens too?

  6. ThePeachy1 says:
    July 21, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    nope, no farm animals at all, this is an old story, 2 dogs, 1 cat..

  7. Tweets that mention The Goat in the Shower | Being Peachy -- Topsy.com says:
    July 21, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by ThePeachy1, ThePeachy1. ThePeachy1 said: The Goat in the Shower post, you asked for it people. http://www.beingpeachy.com/2010/07/21/the-goat-in-the-shower/ […]

  8. Melessa says:
    July 22, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    This made me laugh until I cried. Amusingly, I live in the boonies and was pondering a goat purchase of my own. Needless to say, it ain’t happenin’ now!

  9. Kim Pierson says:
    July 22, 2010 at 10:27 pm

    I don’t know you, but Ginny shared w/ me and I just about ‘busted a gut” laughing (pardon the unseemly phrase) when I read this and am forwarding to a younger relative who has raised goats in her younger years because I know she’ll appreciate it.
    I’m still laughing 15 mins later….TOO GOOD!!!
    Thanks for the sharing!
    Kim

  10. ThePeachy1 says:
    July 23, 2010 at 11:43 am

    Glad you liked it Kim, welcome to the site. I have lived a very awesome and adventurous life. I can’t help but find the funny in it.

  11. Fun with Facebook Friends Thursday | Being Peachy says:
    August 12, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    […] The shower issues sure Brad it’s not like I haven’t had a goat in the shower before […]

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