Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness” (Not making this up the link to the screenshot is right here. ) So if you send in your question, which your totally welcome to do, to email@example.com, PULEEZE for the love of Christ on a Bike know that your advice is coming from someone who is known for “epic asshattedness”.
I noticed you posted that you were sick with the plague or eboli or possibly death. How do you suggested I don’t catch that? Also can I have your awesome shoe collection if you kick it.
Dear ShoeWhore- Wow thanks so much for your fake concern over my health. The only way to not catch what I have is to but the biggest tupperware bowl you can find and seal yourself inside. Downside is, the view isn’t that great it’s all fuzzy also you suffocate quickly, so just take your vitamins and wash your hands. As far as my shoes, shut up, my family and friends will have those picked over before they can get my body out of here. Love The Peachy1
I am so hot this summer. It is insane. How can I cool off?
Dear Hot One- Yes it’s friggin hot as hell this year. If you don’t have a pool you could buy a wetsuit and go to Sea World and just pretend to be a trainer, by jumping in the tanks. Uhm try not to by a wetsuit that looks like a fish or a seal. Just in case. Love ThePeachy1
My kids will NOT stop fighting with each other. They fight over anything and everything and I can not get them to stop. I don’t know if I can wait for school to start. How can I get some silence.
Dear Had Enuff- yeah I think every parent says that their kids fight over everything. I noticed you said how do I get silence instead of how do I teach them to be better people or make them stop? If you want silence see the disease prevention tip I gave above in question #1. However if you want your kids to stop fighting, at least where you don’t hear or see it. Take a page out of my parenting book. Always let them clearly know the rules. Always clearly let them know when the violate it immediately and that there will be consequence. Always follow through with it. When my kids would reach boiling point status I would do things like load them in the car and drive them to random Nursing Homes ask the staff if they could sing songs and pass out hugs. My kids hated it and me. The old people loved it, even if it was row row row your boat. In the end those old people won out, and my kids learned that one day you will be lonely and something as simple as a hug can make your day. Eventually my kids started acting like humans. Not sure if it was because of the nursing homes or because I threated to send them to Military Schools and Convents. Either way I won. Love, ThePeachy1