Funny Stuff Friday

It’s Friday YALL !!    Break into celebratory song of choice {here, possibly something not by lady gaga, maybe?}.

This week has been hard for me.

When I had to go to the tire shop, I realized a push up bra and smile wasn’t enough to get that “special” discount.  It could be that I need push up underwear and I can’t seem to find platform sparklie orthopedic heels? ( theres a market there people!)   I think I got the feel sorry for the old lady discount.  But a discount is a discount.

I am still trying to get my hottie discount

I have no clue who the creator of that is because it came to my email from my husband along with the joke…

“What do older ladies have between their boobs that younger women do not?”

Their bellybutton…

Ok I am starting to think this could be a hint or something.  But then I remember the major difference between men and women.

who ever drew this nailed it on the head.

But I am really glad I don’t have to deal with things like dating and booty calls. Because my friend Jesse sent me this.

So glad I don't have to do this, I wouldn't remember the rules.

But then I got this in my email and I was like bawahahah that’s so funny. Who sent it?

My husband also sent me this? is there a pattern here?

So when I realized I probably just can’t rest on the gaurantee of hotty status for another 40 or so years,  I thought maybe I would consider cross training and try being useful and jump on that “cleaning the house” bandwagon.

Bad idea.  I don’t understand why there are instructions on my shampoo bottle that OBVIOUSLY the world knows how to use.  But no no instructions on my Mop, which is where I needed them.   Fail, Fail and hold it.. Giant FAIL. Yesterday I almost killed every living thing in my house by turning on the auto clean volcano lava feature on my oven.  It billowed smoke around and tried to kill us.  Thank goodness I already knew about the gasmasks at Old Navy from Tuesdays Non Advice Column.

OH HOLY BEANS AND FRANKS FOLKS… I almost forgot the biggest news ever.   As we all know Lady Gaga Fell down at the airport over her massive assinine shoes ..  We knew it would happen it did. Please put it on every website and News Show because it’s that damn important. NOT. I fall every damn day, I don’t even need huge ugly high dollar shoes to do it in.   But this video is awesome so watch it.  Plus she deserves it. She’s an ass.

Oh yeah and Jenny @  The Bloggess  is selling this Kristoffer Kristofferson on Ebay.. anyone want to vote on how long before they jank her hilarious auction? Remember the Haunted Ghost camera sale?  Priceless.

The Oatmeal  obviously knowing I was under attack from zombie spider CIA Ants and the P.O.W. mouse told us how to prepare out pets for war. Prepare yourself for funny stuff.  You can also learn the things NOT to tweet about and how to tell if you suck at Face Book.

That’s it my friends and now go forth and ROCK this weekend !

PEACH OUT.