Stupid-Expert Level

And then the stupid rained down upon mankind….   and they danced in it, and smiled, and stomped upon common sense until it was missing from the Earth.

Enjoy this chat transcript with a nation wide cell phone company.

Please wait while we connect you to a representative.
You have been connected to an idiot.
wood:  Hi, Barb! How may I assist you today?
Barb:  I am logged in to my account , but I can’t find my balance.
wood:  I can certainly understand your concern and I will be more than happy to assist you today 🙂
Barb: _____63
wood:  For me to discuss the account, please verify the last 4 digits of the social security number, date of birth and the email address…
Barb:  dec _____ is my birthday
wood:  I am sorry?
Barb:  email is
Barb:  _____ is my last
wood:  Thank you very much for using the chat option for your question and concerns, feel free to come back in the chat room and we will be more then happy to assist you.
wood:  Thank you for verifying your account, please give me one moment to access and review…
wood:  Thank you for verifying your account, please give me one moment to access and review…
Barb: I am logged onto the website in my account but no where does it say what my balance is.
wood:  I do understand !
wood:  YOur account balance is $1 you will need to make a payment of $24 before 04/18
Barb:  OH k
wood:  .
wood:  Yes!
Barb:   that makes sense. 
wood:  I , do understand.
wood:  There is a ).00 balance on the other line of ___3 and it must be paid by 04/18 as well .
wood:  Ok!
Barb:  where do I go to see that part of my account
wood:  Is there anything else I can help you with today?
wood:  You will need to be signed in as a primary account.
Barb:  yep same question as first one, how do i find the part of my account that has minutes and $
wood:  For security reasons we can not change this over WEB .
Barb:  oh no… so they put ______93 as the primary
wood:  No, the online account is set up as secondary on both.
wood:  You can contact Customer Service by calling 1-8WESUCK or *611 on your mobile phone and they can help you with that.
Barb:  wait a minute? I am logged in, for MY SECURITY I already gave you my bday my social and my email. I doubt seriously you telling me where the hell that part of my account is is more dangerious
wood:  The accounts need to be set up as a primary account to view.
Barb:  what?
Barb:  what is this mess
wood:  I am happy to help you but would appreciate it if you wouldn’t use offensive language during the chat.
Barb:  I bought 2 of them together ______3 and ______3
Barb:  hell is a location
wood:  It is also offensive language.
Barb:  I was born before ww2 buttercup, I gave you all my private info now you can tell me where to find MY info
wood:  Further offensive language will result in the termination of this session.
Barb:  oh my
Barb:  ok
wood:  The online accounts are set up as secondary.
wood:  This means that only limited information is available,
Barb:  you need to go ahead and get a supervisor and ask them to please come tell me how to get to the part of my website that shows my balance, I deserve that. I pay you.
wood:  The account needs to be set up as primary to view extensive information.
Barb:  my account balance is not ektensive
Barb:  that’s where i pay
wood:  For privacy reasons, we are not able to set the account primary through the WEB Chat channel.
Barb:  you mad eme give you my social
Barb:  my email
wood:  You may Contact Customer Care or visit the local store.
Barb:  and my birthday on this chat
Barb:  how is adding money to an account a security risk? that is insane
wood:  Yes that is correct as I have went over the account with you.
Barb:  and not answered how I find my balance and to add money to it
Barb:  since I’ve done on line before I know I can
wood:  Yes, in order to view the balance and make payments on the account the account must be set up primary.
Barb:  if this chat isn’t secure enough for you “assistance” to tell me where my account is. then why is safe enough for my social and dob
wood:  My apologies for any incovience this may cause, however this is for the security of the account holder,.
Barb:  I’m the accoutn holder and you MADE me give you my social and date of birth on this chat? what part of insane does this “rule” come from
wood:  Yes, we must verify the account to go over any information on the account.
Barb:  but you can’t tell me what button to click on your website to see my account because of security itssues?
Barb:  oh my, no wonder our country is headed to the toilet, no common sense and full of shit.. which is not a location but an actual offensive word which is what it is intended to be
Barb:  good bye

and then I banged my head in a car door until it all made sense..  I think I saw Barb in the parking lot doing the same…





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One Response to “Stupid-Expert Level”

  1. leslie says:

    Holy cow. Well, that’s India for you. *waits to be struck by lightning*
    leslie recently posted..Crafty Projects, Part Fifth

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