Hi guys, it’s here, Monday. No denying it. It’s basically laughing in our face letting us know it’s going to attempt to fall us like a huge oak tree onto a roof of our local happy spot. It’s our job to punch Monday in the throat/crotch and show it who is boss. I can’t help physically assist you, but I give you this mental ammo in hopes it will be like Monday butt kicking red bull to help you through your day.
As you know I
should be sealed in bubble wrap am probably a little accident prone. But in my domain I am pretty much She Ra master of killing anything that anything that invades. Because I am I live in the sticks and a lot of things get in my house and try to kill me and I would die if I didn’t try to kill it first that bad ass.
As you know I suffered the deadly “Ants in The Pants” issue last year, and the “Fire Crotch” story, and well seriously who could forget good old “Panty -Gate“, so I am well experience and stay prepared at all times for any fiasco to go down or so I thought.
This past Friday night I was was walking from my hallway toward the family room when I was confronted with this.
I was cornered, scantly clad I accessed my situation and realized I only had marshmallows . Don’t freaking judge me people, I was under attack and clearly my life is in jeapordy from this pissed off, softball sized, sideways hat wearing,gold tooth dollar sign having , bling sporting, swagger sporting, cigar smoking spider.
I realized that wasting my precious marshmallows by throwing them at him would be pointless and I had to call the droid for back up.
It was ugly and Pedro the spider was annihilated with extreme prejudice. Without even thinking about it I gave the Droid a big shout out on Twitter and face book and then it hit me.
OH MY BOB ! That was a gang land spider ! We killed a gang spider and then we very publicly admitted it. Now we have to worry about drive by spiderings and such and retaliation.. this is just not good. I hope we end up some place tropical ..
* Disclaimer- 1/2 a bag of marshmallows were eaten due to the extreme stress of the entire situation. I blame Jauvier Juan Michael Smitty Pedro Lucas Jonathon Blake Columbus O’riely . AKA Pedro the Spider.. street name “Crazy legz” RIP dude.*
*** Do you know what could also make your Monday suck less? Winning a freaking Google TV. yeah you heard me. Google TV. This means you watch what you want when you want, how you want, anytime. It’s pretty much like taking a hot fresh doughnut and dipping it in melted down awesome. You know you want it. Do you know who is giving away Google TV? I do. You ready. It’s Anissa and the Aiming Low Gang. Who else? Yeah. I have the link. Just click here. I love you that much. If you win it, you have to tell me all about it and take pictures with it and send them to me. Now go win. ****