It’s Wednesday my free flow day. I decided to let you in on a little secret weapon. My Daddy. If you have read along for any period of time you realize my daughter and my Daddy are endless pools of humor. Although at very opposite ends of the funny spectrum.
Not everything they say is PC, however he still does not swear in front of ladies. He sends me about 30-50 emails a day because it makes him laugh and they usually either make me laugh or facepalm. Here is some of what he sends me.
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A man boarded a plane with six kids..
After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned
Over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours ? ”
He replied, ” No Ma’am, I work for a condom company.
These are customer complaints. ”
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One day my housework-challenged husband decided
To wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room,
He shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the
Washing machine?’
‘It depends,’ I replied.
‘What does it say on your shirt?’
He yelled back, ‘ OHIO STATE ! ‘
And they say
Blondes are dumb….
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A couple is lying
In bed. The man says,
‘I am going to make
You the happiest woman in the world..’
The woman replies,
‘I’ll miss you……….
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‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, ‘honey, what do you think the
Neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’
She replied ‘Probably that I married you for your money,’ .
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Q: How do you
Keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the
Email folder ‘Instruction Manuals’
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These are actual quotes taken from Government employee performance evaluations…
1. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom
and has started to dig.”
2. “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
3. “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more
of a definite won’t be.”
4. “Works well when under constant supervision or cornered like a rat in a trap.”
5. “When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change
feet.”
6. “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
7. “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them.”
8. “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
9. “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the
better.”
10. “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it
all together.”
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ok that’s it for today. I love my daddy he is made of awesome.