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The Non Advice Column for Tell it Tuesday

Please be advised that I have NO expertise ( despite what the massive spam on my site that I block says). Except I remain in the top listing in google for the search term ” epic asshattedness” NOT MAKING THIS UP. Google it, I have been 3 and 4 for over 2 months. So proud.  So if you send in your question, which you’re totally welcome to do,  to beingpeachy@gmail.com, PULEEZE for the love of baby cheeses know that your advice is coming from someone who is known for “epic asshattedness”.

Dear Peachy:

My husband has a great job he loves and it’s pretty secure.  However we are always broke.  Stretching dollars to cover the bills. I am thinking of going back to work but when you factor in daycare, gas, clothing, it seems like I will be working just to cover the cost of working.  I know the economy is hard everywhere so I am sure a lot of people are in this situation.

signed,

Broke and clueless

Dear Broke and Clueless-  yes sadly this is a common issue. I think just about everyone is hurting right now.   I myself have been collecting the silly bandz my son comes home from school with because I think this will be the new currency.   Just yesterday I announced an up and coming auction I plan to have where we will sell shedded dog hair and silly bandz.  But then today I was filled with extreme happy when I found this.  Yes you can create a coupon for you or your loved ones, or your enemies to sell their organs, souls and a variety of other things.   I was thinking I might even put a kidney up. Someone suggested liver but honestly I can’t see me getting bluebook on that liver of mine, it’s got a ton of mileage. xo ThePeachy1

I wonder if I can put these on Craigs list?

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Peach

My facebook friends suck.  My entier family got onit  and I have to toler8 my emo cousins,  my creepy uncles, and even my mom and dad.  They embares me so much by correcting my spelling or telling me and my friends to watch my mouth.  I can’t block all of them they would make my life a living hell.  But facebook was fun, now it’s like kissing your grndma on the cheek at prom.

Thanks,

There sucking my lifeforce.

Dear THEY’RE sucking my life force (they’re not there)  ( I am no spelling or grammatical genius) but damn it you really should be a little grateful that they still love and acknowledge you.  Because you are uhm how should I put this…  an idiot.  That’s the nicest thing I can say here. When you write to complain about people correcting you at least try to write as if you don’t need correction.  As far as your potty mouth, well I am guessing your a kid, and if you are, suck it up turd brain,  you’re not paying for that computer or that internet access.  It’s not your right, it’s a privilege. If you’re an adult,  please don’t breed.  ThePeachy1

be good, or you get the dunce cap

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Oh wise Peachy1,

I adore your blog and think you are amazing.  So where else to go with my problem.     My daughter started high school today.  I have put it off and put it off, but I am not sure when we should have “the talk”.  And I don’t want to scare her to death like my mom did me with a ton of books from the library.  Do you think I can put it off another year or 2 and what approach should I take.

Sincerely,

Scared of the talk.

Dear Scared of the talk.   The good and bad news here is, she probably already knows more than you.  Remember with teens access to the internet, nearly uncensored TV, and open discussion of this in schools and with friends,  there is probably little you can say she hasn’t heard. Also warn her about pictures and sexting, that’s something new that should be included in the old fashioned talk.  Good luck  xoxo ThePeachy1

( PS- due to your giving me compliments in your question you get bonus points and I sent you an email with actual advice, sort of)


Probably shouldn’t use this video from the 50’s because they call it a curse, and talk about getting a cold from swimming while you are “mensteration” ( yeah that’s how they are pronouncing it.   Your call. Just sayin’

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And that wraps up this weeks non advice column.    probably nothing useful, but you asked.

PEACH OUT.

ThePeachy1: ThePeachy1 has been trolling around the interwebz since we were all in loin cloths with Monochrome TRS 80's. Mainly proud, often befuddled, but always amazed mom of 3 awesome kids and wife to "The" techo guru. When not missing vodka, friends, or wondering why more people don't appreciate the PJ lifestyle she can be found lurking everywhere on the web.